After Years of Unpaid Loans, Woman Tells Sister ‘No More Money Without a Written Agreement’

A woman recently turned to Reddit for guidance after an emotional fallout with her older sister over a financial boundary she says she can no longer ignore. After years of lending money with little to no repayment, she’s reached what she calls her breaking point.

“I’ve loaned my older sister money several times over the past few years,” she writes. “Nothing massive—maybe a few hundred here, a thousand once—but it’s added up.” Despite her consistent willingness to help, she says her sister rarely repays what she owes, occasionally sending back small amounts and routinely offering excuses.

From job losses and messy breakups to car troubles, her sister’s explanations have varied. But the outcome is always the same: the money doesn’t come back. “I never made a big deal out of it,” she says. “She’s my sister. I love her, and I know she’s had a tough few years.”

But things changed recently when her sister requested $2,000 to cover rent after a roommate moved out unexpectedly. “Honestly, I snapped a little,” she admits.

Rather than simply transferring the money, she offered a condition. “I told her I could help—but only if she signs a basic agreement saying she’ll pay it back within a year.”

She clarifies that the document isn’t legally binding—just a simple agreement to establish a repayment timeline. Her sister, however, didn’t take it well.

“She got super offended,” the woman explains. “Said I was treating her like some random borrower, not family.”

Her sister insisted she would never take advantage of her—a claim the poster finds difficult to reconcile with past behavior. “She said she’d never screw me over,” she writes, “even though… she kind of already has.”

Despite the pushback, she tried to explain that it wasn’t about mistrust but about setting healthy boundaries. “I told her this isn’t about trust—it’s about boundaries,” she says. “I’m not a bank.”

She also pointed out that the repeated loans have started to affect her own financial stability. “I’m not exactly rich. I’m just better at budgeting and don’t live paycheck to paycheck like she does.”

The situation escalated further when their parents got involved, urging her to give in. “They’re telling me to just let it go—that family helps family,” she writes, clearly frustrated.

Still, she’s holding firm. “I’m just tired of being the fallback plan with no accountability.”

She says she’s more than willing to help—if her sister agrees to the terms. “If she were actually paying back the loans I’ve already given her, I wouldn’t mind helping again,” she adds.

As she shares her story under the “Advice Needed” tag on Reddit, her question extends beyond money. She wants to know: does setting boundaries with family make her the villain?

One commenter offered reassurance: “You’re not a bank. Setting limits doesn’t make you the bad guy.”

Now, she’s left grappling with a deeper dilemma—whether enforcing boundaries with loved ones is an act of self-respect, or a betrayal of the family ties she values.