Woman Says Friend Won’t Speak to Her Because She Wouldn’t Shorten Vacation to Drive Her to the Airport

A woman says her friendship hit a breaking point after she declined to give a friend a ride to the airport during a girls’ trip to Costa Rica.

In a post shared Monday, July 28, on Reddit’s Am I the A—— forum, the 27-year-old explained the trip was organized to celebrate their friend Lisa’s 30th birthday. Joining them was Vanessa, a mutual friend with whom they shared a fairly close bond.

Vanessa, 33, was hesitant about the trip from the start, having given birth just four months earlier. According to the original poster (OP), Vanessa was ultimately persuaded to go by her husband. Even though she and Lisa both had two weeks off work, they agreed to a five-day trip to accommodate Vanessa’s preference for a shorter vacation.

“After booking, Vanessa kept texting me about canceling or shortening her trip,” the OP wrote. “Our schedule gave us just 3 full days (Mon–Wed) to explore, since Thursday was a travel day back to San José for our early Friday flight.”

“Then Vanessa said she wanted to leave Wednesday morning, which meant we’d have to head back Tuesday, losing another day,” she continued. “I warned Lisa, and she said Vanessa had just admitted at her house that she never wanted to go and only agreed because her husband pushed her. That really hurt Lisa.”

In response, the OP and Lisa decided to extend their trip, while Vanessa chose to cut hers short.

At one point, Vanessa asked them to drive her to the airport. The OP said they declined, suggesting she take a private car instead. They explained it would require giving up an entire day of their limited vacation.

“We explained our reasoning and offered to help with the cost,” the OP said. “She initially said she’d be fine with it, but later changed her mind and said she wasn’t comfortable traveling alone.”

“She backed out entirely, saying she felt like she was ‘jumping through hoops’ and didn’t want to be an inconvenience,” the OP continued. “We told her we were sad but understood.”

Three months have passed, and according to the OP, neither she nor Lisa has heard from Vanessa. “She’s ignored our messages, didn’t acknowledge our birthdays, and hasn’t responded to anything, not even compliments about her baby,” the OP said. “We haven’t confronted her, mostly because she has a history of cutting people off and blowing up.

“She also tends to make things about herself, like announcing her pregnancy at Lisa’s birthday dinner,” she added. “There’s more, but we’re honestly just not feeling like getting yelled at. So we haven’t pushed it.”

While some commenters on Reddit sympathized with Vanessa for not wanting to travel so soon after having a baby, most sided with the OP and Lisa, saying they shouldn’t have been expected to sacrifice part of their vacation.

One commenter wrote, “NTA [not the a——] but I think you were way too nice. If it had been me and I had 2 weeks, I would not have accommodated someone who didn’t want to go.”

“Vanessa is an adult. She’s capable of standing up to her husband and saying no,” the commenter continued. “Instead, you guys allowed her to shorten the trip. I think it’s good she backed out and her behavior thereafter is immature.”

“But I think it would’ve been better had you been more assertive in the beginning and not changed the plans for someone who clearly did not want to go,” they added.