Woman Feels Like Boyfriend Is ‘Punishing’ Her for Going on Bachelorette Trip with Friends

A woman is questioning her boyfriend’s intentions after he reacted harshly over what seemed like a minor issue.

In a Reddit post, she shared that she had been planning a bachelorette weekend with her friends “for a while,” but feels her boyfriend is “punishing” her for having plans that don’t include him. Now, she’s wondering if this incident points to a larger pattern of manipulative behavior.

On the day she needed to pack for the trip, her boyfriend, whom she calls “H,” unexpectedly bought tickets for them to see a movie. Though surprised, she was happy to spend some quality time with him.

She simply told H she’d need to pack after the movie since it cut into her preparation time.

However, they got home “late,” and despite her “tight schedule” the next morning, H gave her only 15 minutes to pack — threatening to lock her out of the bedroom if she didn’t comply. When she tried to explain she wasn’t trying to inconvenience him, he had a “meltdown.”

“He said, ‘I don’t care if it’s not your intention, you’re still doing it,'” she recalled. “That really stuck with me. It feels like he’s punishing me for having plans that don’t revolve around him.”

She also suspected, “Part of me thinks he planned the movie as a way to eat into my prep time so he could hold it against me later.”

The woman sensed that H was being “manipulative and controlling,” but turned to other Reddit users for their take.

Many commenters agreed the boyfriend’s behavior seemed toxic and noted that he might not know how to express his emotions healthily.

“You’re not his parent. He needs to emotionally mature,” one person wrote. “Maybe this is a time to reflect on how being with someone who reacts like this makes you feel.”

“He seems unable or unwilling to communicate calmly and directly—especially when he feels threatened or his ego is bruised,” another added.