A man on Reddit is asking for advice after a tense argument with his wife about an upcoming family trip to Hawaii.
His post, titled “AITAH for telling my wife my daughter and I are going on vacation with or without her,” describes a difficult choice between supporting his wife’s mental health and letting their daughter have a special experience.
The man, 45, says he and his wife, 40, have been married for 15 years and don’t have a great relationship with his side of the family. Recently, they were offered a rare chance to go on a family trip to Hawaii — with airfare and lodging fully paid for. They would only need to cover food, activities, and local transportation.
Their 6-year-old daughter, who will be 7 when the trip happens, is excited to go, especially because one of her favorite cousins will be there. At first, his wife agreed to join them. But a week later, she started having panic attacks and crying because she was terrified of the long flight.
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Understanding her fear, he told her it was okay if she stayed home. But he and their daughter would still go. He explained that this might be his last chance to go and possibly his daughter’s only chance to experience a trip like this.
His wife was upset, saying she couldn’t handle being apart from their daughter for so long, which made her anxiety worse. He suggested she see a doctor for short-term medication to help with the flight. But she worried about withdrawal symptoms afterward and refused.
He says this is one of the few times in their marriage he’s made a firm decision without backing down. “I feel bad for my wife, but I believe this is what’s best for our daughter,” he wrote.
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People on Reddit mostly supported his decision. One commenter said, “NTA. Her anxiety is real, but it’s not fair to hold your daughter back from a once-in-a-lifetime experience.” Another suggested therapy for flight anxiety instead of relying on medication, adding that there’s still time before the trip in March to find solutions.
Most agreed the daughter shouldn’t miss out because her mother won’t seek help. The man ended his post wondering if he should keep the tickets and hope his wife changes her mind — and, if not, stay connected with her through FaceTime and photos during the trip.
