Man Refuses to Lend $5K to Spoiled Sister Who Always Got Parents’ Help

A man has turned to Reddit for advice after a tense family dispute about whether he should lend money to his younger sister. The 32-year-old explained in his post that he refused to help financially, saying his decision comes from a lifetime of feeling like the “unfavored” child.

According to him, “it was obvious early on who the favorite was.” His 27-year-old sister always had the newest clothes, phones, and more freedom, while he says he was left to figure things out on his own.

The imbalance carried into their teenage years. “When she totaled her car at 17, our parents bought her another one right away,” he recalled. “When I asked for help covering my college books, they told me to get another job.”

From that point, he stopped asking for assistance. He worked from the age of 16, paid his way through college, split rent with roommates, and skipped vacations—while his sister, he says, “lived rent-free at home into her twenties.”

Even when she struggled, their parents stepped in. “When she maxed out her credit cards, they paid them off. When she failed classes, they got her tutors,” he wrote. Meanwhile, when he stumbled, he had to handle things alone.

Now living independently with a steady job and modest savings, he says he finally feels some stability. But that was challenged when his sister recently called asking for $5,000 to cover credit card debt.

Though he admits he technically could afford it, he refused. “I knew if I said yes, it would just be more of the same,” he explained. Instead, he offered alternatives—like helping her with budgeting apps or suggesting she speak with a financial advisor.

His sister was furious, accusing him of being cold and stuck on “childhood stuff.” But in his view, the favoritism never stopped. “She still lives in our parents’ guesthouse, rent-free. They still pay her phone bill.”

The refusal quickly escalated into a family-wide conflict. “Now they’re mad at me too, saying family should help each other out,” he wrote. But he questioned that argument: “Where was that help when I was skipping meals and juggling jobs just to pay rent?”

Reddit users were quick to support him. One commenter said, “You don’t have to lend money to anyone if you don’t want to.” He agreed, responding, “True and in this case, I really don’t want to, especially knowing how things have always been.”

For him, the choice isn’t just about one request—it’s about breaking a cycle he believes has always been unfair.