Single Dad Lets His 12-Year-Old Daughter Get Thong Underwear but Doesn’t Expect the Backlash from Other Parents

A father of a 12-year-old girl recently shared a difficult parenting dilemma on Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum.

He explained that his daughter asked if she could start wearing thong underwear. His initial reaction was to say no, since he always associated thongs with being “sexy” attire. But after listening to his daughter’s reasoning, he decided to allow it. Now, some of the parents of her friends are upset, and he’s questioning whether he made the right choice.

The father, who lost his wife in a car accident seven years ago, said he has tried to handle every milestone in his daughter’s life as thoughtfully as possible. Though he has had a girlfriend for the past few months, he emphasized that she hasn’t influenced his parenting decisions.

When his daughter first made the request, he was surprised — but she explained that it wasn’t about being “sexy.” She simply didn’t like how underwear lines showed under yoga pants. To demonstrate, she showed him how briefs and boy shorts bunched up, while a thong would avoid the problem.

“She also explained that she felt like if anything, these lines and awkward aesthetics would draw more attention to her body,” the father wrote. He ultimately agreed to buy her thong underwear so she could feel more comfortable in her clothing.

That decision seemed fine until one of the other parents called him, furious. The parent accused his daughter of showing her thong to boys at school and even claimed he was “sexualizing” her and encouraging bad behavior.

Shaken by the accusation, the father asked his daughter directly about what happened. She insisted she never showed her underwear to anyone. Instead, she said her friends noticed when she wore yoga pants and likely mentioned it at home, sparking the parents’ anger.

He also discussed the situation with his girlfriend, who suggested he should have spoken with other parents first. She argued that when one girl in a group takes a step — whether that’s makeup, thongs, or unsupervised time with boys — others want the same freedom.

While the father understood her point, he admitted that calling up other parents to ask about their daughters’ underwear would have felt far more uncomfortable and inappropriate.

Reddit users largely agreed with him, saying he made the right call and that consulting other parents would have crossed a line.

“Can you imagine if [he] just called up his daughter’s friend’s moms and was like ‘Hey there, can you tell me if your teenaged daughter is wearing thongs yet?’” one commenter wrote. “It would definitely come off wrong, and it would be mortifying to his daughter.”