Woman Wants to Skip Her Best Friend’s Wedding Because It’s on Her Birthday: ‘My Day Matters Too’

A woman is debating whether to skip her best friend’s wedding because it falls on her birthday.

In a recent Reddit post, she explained that her best friend is getting married next month. While she was initially excited, the news of the wedding date — coinciding with her birthday — left her feeling conflicted.

“When I realized the date, I felt a little hurt because I thought she would at least ask me if it was okay,” the OP (original poster) wrote. “I brought it up, and she said it was the only date that worked for the venue.”

Despite understanding the logistical constraints, the OP told her friend she “might skip” the wedding to celebrate her birthday with family and other friends.

“She got upset and said I was being selfish,” the OP recalled.

The situation has left her torn. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I also feel like my birthday matters too,” she wrote, asking fellow Redditors, “AITA [am I the a——] if I don’t go?”

In the comments, many readers criticized her stance, calling it “petty” and “selfish” to consider missing such a major milestone.

“A wedding is a milestone. A lifetime event. A birthday is a celebration that happens every year,” one person wrote. “If you’re really her best friend and you actually cared for her, you’d be happy that a special day for her and for you both landed on the same day, and you’d be thrilled to spend that day seeing her enter the next chapter of her life.”

They added: “It sounds like you expected her to move her big day because it was inconvenient for YOU, and now you’re punishing her by not going.”

Another commenter was more blunt: “Your birthday is … checks notes … every year. This is her wedding. If you’re not going to your best friend’s wedding because of this, then you’re a crappy friend.”

Others pointed out that planning a wedding involves many logistics and compromises, and urged the OP to consider that reality.

“I doubt your friend sat down with her calendar and tried to find a way to make it on your birthday. Weddings are complicated events,” one reader wrote. “Maybe their dream location is only available on your birthday. Or maybe their preferred caterer only has availability that weekend.”

Another agreed, noting that expecting a bride to accommodate every guest’s schedule is unrealistic.

“Expecting someone to schedule their wedding around guests’ birthdays is insane. Imagine a guest list of 100 or so people — you’d be locking out a third of the year if that was considered essential. And then there are people’s anniversaries they’d have to consider,” they explained.