Woman Tells Longtime Family Friend She Can’t Attend Her Bachelorette Party or Wedding and Is Later Accused of Double-Booking

A woman wondered if she made the right choice after saying no to invitations to a longtime family friend’s bachelorette party and wedding. She said she was accused of double-booking her schedule on purpose.

In a post on Mumsnet, she explained her close relationship with a friend she has known for more than 40 years. The friend’s younger cousin is now getting ready to get married.

“Our families were very close when we were growing up,” she said. “Her mom and dad were like an aunt and uncle to me. When we were about 15, her cousin was born. We loved visiting, and she even was the flower girl at my wedding 7 years later.”

The woman said she has stayed close to her friend over the years but rarely sees her extended family, including the cousin.

“Every couple of years we might do a weekend away, and her cousin (now an adult) will come,” she noted.

A few years ago, the cousin mentioned her wedding after getting engaged, but there weren’t many details since a date had not been set.

“She said we (the general group, not her cousin) would be invited to the [reception]. Very kind of her to include us,” the Mumsnet user said. “This year I received an invite to her [bachelorette party] in August.”

“Sadly I can’t attend due to health issues, so I declined,” she shared. “Then I received an invite to the [reception], and typical — I’m at a show that evening.”

She said she had bought the tickets about 18 months ago as a gift for her husband. She felt bad canceling because they had already missed two other date nights due to her health issues.

“Now, we could miss the event and take the financial loss or try to sell tickets (bought locally so can’t just do it on Ticketmaster),” she wrote. “Plus [my husband] has never met my friend’s cousin, so naturally he’s less concerned about missing the wedding.”

“So I messaged the cousin and apologized, saying we had a prior commitment,” she added. “She was fine, but when I spoke to my friend, she was upset. She mentioned something about how I could have double-booked. But I booked this event before the bride had even mentioned a date or year.”

The online community quickly defended the woman. Many said a friend of more than 40 years should understand scheduling conflicts, especially when it involves a wedding for someone she isn’t close to.

“You are not being unreasonable,” one reply said. “It’s not your friend’s wedding, but her cousin’s. It’s a bit strange for her to expect you to drop your plans for someone you’re not close to.”

“Don’t feed the flames, just give her space to move on,” another comment suggested. “Maybe your friend just wanted you there for company, rather than reacting to your actions.”

“She shouldn’t be guilt-tripping you about it. You’re not the bride!” a third comment said. “You weren’t even invited to the wedding proper. Don’t let this cause a fight, but also don’t let her speak badly about you.”