Woman Accuses the Parents of Her Daughter’s Boyfriend of Trying to Use Her as a Stream of Income

A mother is unsure if she should be worried about a request from her daughter’s boyfriend’s parents.

On the U.K.-based parenting forum Mumsnet, the mom shared that her daughter, a recent college graduate, has been living with her boyfriend for the past year and is currently looking for a new job.

Her daughter hopes to stay in the city where she studied and is still working the same job she had during college. The mother said she’s willing to help her daughter if money becomes tight.

“Dd [dear daughter] is living with BF [boyfriend] and has been for the last year,” the mom explained. “He will be in this area for at least 18 months because of work. They rent a 2-bed apartment.”

She added that her daughter doesn’t want to move into the new house proposed by the boyfriend’s parents because she thinks it would be too expensive and she doesn’t like the area.

The mother said, “BF parents, who already own 5 houses that they rent out, are now planning to buy a 4-bed home in the [college] city. They expect their son and DD to move in and help with upkeep, even though the parents live about 3 hours away. They want them to pay the same rent as they do now, but the house would remain in the parents’ name.”

The house is about 12 miles outside the area where many students live, and it doesn’t have the same amenities as the couple’s current apartment, the mom noted.

Feeling uneasy, the mother admitted she worries that the boyfriend’s parents are using the young couple for money.

“I feel that [my daughter] is being treated as a source of income. They expect their son to move in, and my daughter would come along by default,” she said. Her daughter has also said she doesn’t want to live with random roommates anymore, and it’s unclear if the parents plan to rent out the other bedrooms.

The mother added that her daughter has shared her concerns with her boyfriend. “I think he understands but feels obligated to his family, who say they are doing a ‘nice thing.’ Apparently, buying the house was presented as a great honor,” she explained. She then asked the online community, “Am I being unreasonable?”

Most responses reassured the mother that her concerns were valid.

One person wrote, “The parents are being entrepreneurs, buying a house and renting it out to students. Naturally, they expect their child to live there, and therefore your daughter too, and to pay rent. But your daughter doesn’t have to go along with this. She can refuse to move there. It might mean not living with her boyfriend if he feels he must comply with his parents.”

Another commenter added, “If they weren’t consulted and it doesn’t work for them, it’s really not a ‘nice thing.’”

Several other commenters warned about the risks of renting from family. One pointed out, “Who’s going to be the priority if they split? What conditions will be tied to it? Will the parents inspect the property like landlords or just visit casually? Will there be a legal tenancy agreement or will they expect to do what they want?”

Others encouraged the daughter to stand up for herself, even if it meant living separately from her boyfriend.

“She doesn’t have to move!” one person wrote. “If she doesn’t want to, she should tell her boyfriend she has no desire to live in that house. He can choose to move there without her if he wants.”