Mom of 3 Was Told Exhaustion and Headaches Were ‘Just Motherhood.’ At 28, She Was Diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer

Kate Crawford was exhausted. At 26, she was a mother of three children, all under the age of 3. She had constant headaches and stomachaches, and even had to rush to the ER once for stabbing back pain. Doctors told her, “That’s just motherhood,” recalls Crawford, now 41.

But something didn’t feel right when she did a self breast exam. She was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer at 28. Doctors told her she had less than two years to live.

In August, Crawford — who used to work as a firefighter and EMT in her hometown of Rostraver, Penn. before leaving to raise her children — had her 200th cancer treatment. She shared her journey with PEOPLE, explaining how she has fought to survive 13 years since that diagnosis, focusing on making memories with her children.

Early Struggles

Kate didn’t have an easy time getting pregnant. Her first daughter, Shannon, passed away three days after birth.

“Shannon changed my life,” Kate says. “I faced death with her; she died in my arms. I am afraid, but not afraid, and it’s all because of her.”

After Shannon, Kate had a miscarriage in her second trimester. But five months later, she found out she was pregnant with twins, Grace and Lily.

“When they came home from the hospital, I thought, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m finally a mom,’” she says.

Her son, Stephen Jr., was born eight weeks early and has since been diagnosed with a form of cerebral palsy. Kate had major surgeries after his birth, including a bladder repair and hysterectomy, all while taking care of three kids under three.

The Cancer Diagnosis

At first, Kate blamed her pain and fatigue on motherhood. “Life was so chaotic,” she says. But when she developed a persistent cough, she went to her OB-GYN. After a breast exam and mammogram, a doctor told her they needed to schedule a biopsy.

On her husband’s 41st birthday, Kate got the call: she had breast cancer.

“I cried,” she says. “This cannot be real life.”

Scans showed the cancer had already spread to her shoulder, ribs, liver, pelvis, spine, and both breasts. Her first question: “Am I going to die? Am I going to leave my babies?”

The doctors said they would try to prevent that. Kate decided she would fight, even if the odds were only 1% in her favor.

Fighting for Life

At 28, Kate started chemotherapy, going weekly for a year and a half. During treatment, she focused on her children and created what she called “The Mommy bucket list.” She wanted to experience both big and small moments with her kids: trips to Disney or Hawaii, watching them learn to read, get good grades, join band, go to prom, and more.

Her friends, family, and community rallied to help her achieve these moments. Grace, Lily, and Stephen Jr. were even the first Prom Princesses and Prince in their school district’s history — a memory Kate says she will always cherish.

Life After Diagnosis

Doctors initially gave her 18 to 24 months to live, but treatments extended her life. Now, nearly 13 years later, Kate continues to fight.

“All I want is to make memories with my family,” she says. “I want my kids to know that even though mommy was sick, she did her best and showed up.”

In 2022, Stephen Jr. got sick and was diagnosed with a brain tumor. “He’s watched me all these years as I fight to stay alive. Now he fights too,” Kate says.

Her husband, Steve, is a forensic detective and Kate’s rock. “We couldn’t do any of this without him,” she says.

Her children are now teenagers: Stephen Jr. is 15, and the twins are 17 and starting their senior year of high school. Kate says, “I never thought I’d be here to see this, and now I am. My kids gave me the will to live, and I’m teaching them how to live.”

Finding Strength

Recently, Kate walked in a Cancer Culture fashion show during New York Fashion Week. “It was powerful,” she says. “I was embracing my scars and showing the reality of living with late-stage cancer.”

Kate has learned to focus on the present. “Bad things happen and there’s no rhyme or reason. But when I look at my kids or even feed my ducks in the backyard, I think, ‘What a great life.’ My kids gave me the will to live, and I’m teaching them how to live. This is such a beautiful life, and I can’t believe I get to live it.”