Bride Says She’s Considering Eloping to Avoid Having ‘Unpleasant’ Family Members at Her Wedding

A bride-to-be says she’s under pressure to invite family members she doesn’t get along with because her dad is helping pay for her wedding.

On Sunday, Aug. 31, she shared her situation on the UK-based forum Mumsnet. She explained that she’s an only child and has been close to her father since her mom passed away three years ago. Her dad offered to cover the cost of the wedding venue, while she and her fiancé will pay for the rest.

Her guest list of 60 people already includes her mom’s siblings, but her dad doesn’t get along with them. She said she doesn’t have a relationship with anyone on her dad’s side of the family except for his sister, since they were unkind to her mom.

“Dad now says that if my mom’s side is invited, he wants his side there too, to avoid family fallout,” she wrote. “He’s offered to pay for extra guests so we don’t have to cut friends from the list. I’m torn.”

The bride-to-be admitted she thought about eloping to avoid the conflict, but she and her fiancé really want to celebrate with loved ones.

“The wedding is next year and we’re at the point of putting deposits down on things,” she added. The couple saves about $1,000 a month toward their wedding.

She asked readers whether she should give in to her father’s request or stand firm and risk conflict with him.

Most replies told her not to take her dad’s money if it comes with conditions.

“Don’t invite anyone who wasn’t kind to your mom,” one person said. “Your dad shouldn’t use financial help to bring in people you don’t want there. Your loyalty should be with your late mom.”

Another wrote: “Have the wedding you want. If you give someone a gift, it shouldn’t come with strings. We paid for our children’s weddings and didn’t put conditions on it.”

Others suggested skipping the drama entirely: “Elope and spend the money on a huge honeymoon!” one user said.

Still, some commenters sided with her dad.

“I think it’ll look strange to invite some aunts and uncles but not others,” one person shared. “It might be really hard for your dad if his siblings are left out. I’d do it for his sake.”

Another added, “It’s not that unreasonable. He’ll be the one dealing with the fallout. If you were paying for everything, fine—but since you’re not, I can see why he’d want both sides there.”