Bride Refuses to Let Sister Celebrate Birthday with Cake at Her Rehearsal Dinner

A 30-year-old woman says she feels “gaslit” by her family because they want to celebrate her sister’s birthday during her wedding rehearsal.

In a post shared to Reddit, the anonymous woman wrote: “I feel gaslit by my family for asking my mother to not get a cake for my older sister’s birthday at our rehearsal dinner.”

She explained that she and her fiancé were together for six years before getting engaged. Two months later, her sister also got engaged and told her, “I’m getting married before you because I’m not waiting until 2025.”

According to her post, her sister married two months after her own engagement. Later, when she and her fiancé bought their first home, her sister and her husband bought their second home just a couple months later. “See a pattern here?” she wrote.

Now, in her wedding year, her sister is pregnant and due one month before the wedding. “Now don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to be an aunty!” she added. “However, now it’s expected the baby come to the wedding, which my fiancé and I have said from the beginning — no children. That’s been a battle in itself.”

The bride-to-be says the rehearsal dinner happens to fall on her sister’s birthday — something she insists was just a coincidence. Still, her sister is expecting a birthday cake at the dinner.

“I kindly told my mother I thought it was a little wild for her to expect that and maybe we do something small for her after the rehearsal and before dinner so at least she feels special,” she explained. “Because I am still a people pleaser, even though this is one life event I should be allowed to be ‘selfish.’”

Her mother disagreed, calling her “a selfish person” for even suggesting no cake, and said she would get one anyway — even if that meant bringing it after the couple left.

The bride-to-be said she tried to look at it from the other side: “I’ve tried to think of how it would be shoe on the other foot and don’t ever think I would expect that on someone else’s rehearsal dinner.”

Her mother replied that she absolutely would and insisted a parent must celebrate their child’s birthday, even though her sister is turning 35.

Now, the woman is asking if she’s wrong for telling her mother not to bring a birthday cake to her rehearsal dinner.

On Reddit, opinions were mixed. Many supported the bride, saying she had every right to make the event about her and her fiancé.

“Your rehearsal dinner is about you and your fiancé, not your sister’s birthday. Asking your mom to wait or celebrate separately is totally reasonable,” one commenter said. “Setting boundaries doesn’t make you selfish.”

Another wrote: “Honestly, I think the compromise you suggested (celebrating after rehearsal or another day) was very reasonable. Your mom insisting you’re selfish feels dismissive of what this event is meant for.”

But others pushed back, pointing out that the bride should have remembered her sister’s birthday when booking the dinner. Some argued a simple cake wouldn’t ruin the evening.

“You seem jealous and obsessed with your sister,” one commenter added. “Her buying a house two months after you is suspect for what reason? That’s what adults often do in their 30s after they marry.”