38-Year-Old Stands Up to Overbearing Mother by Refusing to Pretend She’s Still a Virgin

A woman turned to Reddit for advice after a huge fight with her very religious mother. The 38-year-old explained that she had to move back in with her parents after losing her apartment, while also helping care for her sick father.

She said that moving home made her mother treat her like a teenager again. “I know how nuts this sounds, but my mother is extremely Catholic,” she wrote. While grateful for a place to stay, she didn’t expect her personal life to become such a source of drama.

Part of the conflict involves her close friend, Gary. “I have a gay friend, ‘Gary.’ I cannot admit to having gay friends due to my mother’s extreme religious views,” she explained. Her mother believes that being around gay people could bring “demons.” Because of that, she has kept Gary’s s*xuality a secret, even though he laughs about it.

The trouble started when Gary went through a breakup and asked her to stay over for emotional support. She told her mom where she would be, but her mother immediately assumed something romantic was happening.

Her mom demanded details, asking, “Well, where are you sleeping at his?” Frustrated, the daughter snapped, “Wherever I pass out.” That only made her mother more suspicious, accusing Gary of possibly having “bad intentions.”

Years of anger boiled over, and the daughter finally pushed back. Laughing in her mother’s face, she said, “Well, if he does, I’ll be very happy since I’ve not had s*x a while, and frankly, I miss it!”

It was the first time she had ever admitted to her mom that she wasn’t a virgin. “I’m pushing 40,” she wrote, shocked that she was still hiding something so basic. Her mother reacted as though she’d been betrayed—crying, tearing down family photos, and shouting that her daughter had “destroyed the family.”

The fallout has been dramatic. A week later, her mother was still lying in bed, refusing food and crying because her nearly 40-year-old daughter was no longer a virgin.

The daughter admitted she resents pretending all these years. “I haven’t been a virgin for nearly 20 years, and I deeply resent all the time I had to pretend to be one,” she said. Her mother now claims she has “no respect” for herself.

Her father, whom she calls the “sane parent,” is more understanding but still wished she had been less blunt, since s*x is such an uncomfortable subject for her mother.

Still, the daughter feels this isn’t just about sensitivity. “I get that her religious beliefs are strong, but at the same time, I feel she needs to get a stronger grip on reality,” she said. She added that she has never brought men to their house and even helps her parents financially.

Her frustration comes down to one point: “My body is simply not hers to control outside of the house,” she declared. She also described how exhausting it has been to deal with her mother’s constant, indirect questions about her s*x life.

Commenters on Reddit quickly supported her. One wrote, “You’re nearly 40, not a teenager. Your mom’s meltdown is about control, not ‘sensitivity.’”

Another added: “Yes, your blunt answer stung, but her hysterics and manipulation are way out of line. Your body and choices aren’t hers to control.”

The daughter summed it up with one question: “Who gets upset, let alone THIS UPSET, that their nearly 40-year-old daughter has the audacity to have a s*x life?”