Woman Refused to Wait 40 Minutes for Her Habitually Late Friends — Now She’s Asking the Internet If She Overreacted

A woman refused to wait for her chronically late friends — and now she’s questioning whether she overreacted.

She shared her story on the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A——?”, where users seek advice about interpersonal dilemmas. In her post, the woman explained that she had been planning to meet her friends at an event “for weeks.”

“In the days leading up to it, I asked when they planned on being there and they gave me a time. They verified this time the day of the event as I was preparing to leave. Once I hit the road, I texted them an ETA and they responded with a thumbs up,” she wrote.

However, when she arrived at the event, both friends told her they hadn’t even left their homes yet and wouldn’t be there for another 40 minutes.

“It hurt that I drove all the way out only to feel like my time was being disrespected,” she said, noting that this “isn’t the first time something like this has happened.”

“I’ve waited in a bar by myself for over an hour waiting for them to arrive. I’ve waited even longer for them to show up to a party where everyone was expecting them. I’ve always made excuses for them, since I know executive dysfunction and time blindness is a thing. But at a certain point I needed to put my foot down. My family was always late to things growing up and to this day it triggers me,” she added.

The original poster (OP) also said she struggles with severe social anxiety, making the friends’ repeated lateness feel even worse.

“So I left, fully aware that I was wasting time and gas. I sobbed the entire way, asking what was wrong with me that I would do this to my favorite people,” she said.

She added, “Now one of the friends isn’t talking to me and the other is making me feel guilty because they wanted to see me. AITA [am I the a——]?”

Reddit users were split on whether the OP was at fault.

“NTA [not the a——],” one person wrote. “There are just some people who don’t respect other people’s time and are completely incapable of being on time. A few minutes late when you have a whole hour to drive is understandable. Not having left yet (and not even saying they are about to leave) when there is an hour drive and they are already supposed to be there is 100% unacceptable.”

“NTA. 10 or 15 minutes, you’d wait. At least 40 minutes since they hadn’t left the house yet? That’s so disrespectful to you,” another agreed.

Some Redditors, however, suggested that both sides shared some responsibility — the friends for being consistently late, and the OP for relying so heavily on them for emotional support.

“ESH [everyone sucks here],” one commenter wrote. “Them for being egregiously late, especially since it’s a pattern. [And] you to yourself for not dealing with your anxiety. This didn’t need to be a wasted day. You could have gone about the event and they get there when they get there.”

Another added, “[…] It sounds like your anxiety is not under control and you expect a lot from friends by way of therapeutic support. Sitting sobbing in a car […] is not the way to go […]. Therapy, or better therapy if you are already in it, is called for.”