Mom Angry at Ex for Not Providing for Their Son, Being ‘Careless’ with His Things. Now She’s Refusing to Loan Baby’s New Carseat

A woman is unsure if she should let her ex use her baby’s new, high-end car seat — and her dilemma sparked a lively discussion online.

Posting to Reddit’s AITA forum, the mother explained that her 4-month-old son is “exceptionally tall” and already wearing clothes meant for 9- to 12-month-olds. Both parents are over six feet tall, and her grandparents recently offered to buy a 360-degree car seat designed to last several years.

The woman and her son’s father are no longer together; they split during her pregnancy. Her ex currently spends time with their child on Sundays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., and the two parents meet halfway between their homes for the exchange.

“He has asked that we share the car seat,” she wrote. “I said no. He’s extremely careless with my son’s belongings.”

She added that her ex and his family don’t provide for the baby during visits, leaving her to supply everything — clothes, diapers, bottles, and food. “We already share the stroller, and he’s lost parts and damaged the frame,” she said. “Nine times out of ten, my son comes back with something missing or broken.”

The mother asked whether she was wrong for refusing to share the new car seat, noting that she uses it daily and hopes to keep it for a future child.

One commenter said she’s right to set boundaries but should also stop compensating for her ex’s lack of responsibility. “NTA, but stop covering your ex’s part of caring for your child,” they wrote. “When the child is in his care, he needs to provide food, clothing, diapers, etc. Send your child dressed and expect him returned in the same clothes. Let your ex figure it out and be a parent.”

Another user agreed, warning that sharing the car seat could set a bad precedent. “This will become a pattern. You’ll end up providing everything,” they said. “Set the standard now. If he doesn’t have what he needs, don’t leave the baby with him.”

A third commenter sympathized with her decision but acknowledged the difficult situation. “You’re not wrong for refusing to share an expensive, important item with someone who’s shown carelessness,” they said. “But make sure your child’s father has a proper car seat. If he doesn’t, that’s a serious safety concern.”

The mother later responded that she’s strict about her son’s safety and has already made her expectations clear. “I’ve told him that if he doesn’t have an acceptable car seat, he won’t be taking our son,” she wrote. “If you can’t prioritize your child’s safety, that’s neglect. Maybe I’m strong-headed, but past issues have forced me to take this stance.”