Woman Questions Husband’s Relationship with Coworker After Catching Them Texting During a Date Night

A woman turned to Reddit for advice after feeling uneasy about her husband’s increasingly close relationship with a coworker.

She explained that her 34-year-old husband started a new job a few months ago and quickly bonded with a colleague. Although she doesn’t consider herself a jealous person, something about this friendship feels different.

According to her post, the two text constantly, and her husband now seems distracted — even during their date nights. One evening, she noticed him sending memes and inside jokes to his coworker. When she asked about it, he brushed it off, saying, “It’s a work thing, you wouldn’t get it.” She also mentioned that he has a special nickname for his coworker, which is unusual for him.

“I tried bringing it up gently, saying it made me feel a little left out and weird,” she wrote. “He got defensive fast, said I was being controlling, jealous, and insecure, and told me, ‘Not everything has to be a threat.’”

She shared that she had met the coworker once, describing her as “polite but distant” — someone who seemed uninterested in who she was or what her relationship was to him. Since then, she says she’s felt increasingly sidelined.

“He talks more about her than any of his other friends or coworkers, and honestly? I’m starting to feel like a third wheel in my own relationship,” she admitted.

While she hasn’t accused her husband of cheating, she confessed that the emotional closeness between them feels inappropriate. “I don’t even think anything physical is happening,” she wrote, “but the connection just seems off. Or maybe it’s not. I don’t know. That’s why I’m here.”

Commenters were quick to reassure her that her concerns were valid. Many pointed out that even without a physical affair, her husband’s behavior suggested an emotional one.

“Sounds like it’s more than a friendship,” one user wrote. “His defensiveness, dismissing your feelings, and giving her a nickname all point to emotional attachment. Have you read their messages? Are there any other red flags?”

Another commenter added, “I’d be really hurt by this. To me, this is an emotional affair.”