Man Tells Ex-Wife His New Partner Will Be a ‘Better Mom,’ Then Comes Back with Bold Request Following Fertility Struggles

A woman turned to Reddit for advice after feeling pressured by her ex-husband and his new wife years after their divorce. She wanted to know if she was wrong for refusing to support them through their ongoing infertility issues.

In her post, the woman, now in her 30s, explained that she shares three children with her ex-husband, ages 13, 12, and 9. Their marriage ended when their youngest was just four months old, shortly after her husband confessed that he had never truly loved her and had only married her because she was pregnant with their first child.

“He had been unable to develop any real feelings for me and could not pretend any longer because he felt his unhappiness was growing by the day,” she wrote.

She said his lack of affection extended beyond their marriage, shaping how he treated her even after the divorce. “I bring this up because I believe his lack of true feelings for me has led to him seeing me as unimportant and disposable to our kids,” she shared. Over the years, she claimed, he and his new wife acted as though her role as a mother could easily be replaced.

Only weeks after the divorce was finalized, her ex began bringing his new partner to school events. The two women met at a school play, where he introduced his partner as someone who was “getting ready for her role as a new mom.”

“I thought they meant she was pregnant,” the poster wrote. “But no—they meant she would be mom to my kids.” The new woman even asked to hold the baby for some “mother/son bonding,” despite having just met the family.

Soon after, the couple asked the mother to “delegate” tasks to the new partner, such as school pickups and drop-offs. When she objected, her ex insisted that “at their house,” his partner “would be mom” because “the kids could do with a mom and dad parental unit instead of divorced parents.”

He even told her that his new partner “would be a better mom than I ever could be.” Their relationship deteriorated quickly. The woman said she stood firm, clarifying that the new wife was a stepmom—not the children’s mother. The other woman, in turn, called her “insecure” and a “b-tch.”

Things escalated when her ex sought full custody but was denied. The mother brought documentation to court showing that he had attempted to “push me out,” including efforts to remove her name from school contact lists in favor of his new wife’s. The judge restricted some of his decision-making rights and warned the couple to coordinate school and medical matters with her.

When the couple later married, conflict flared again. They scheduled their wedding during her parenting week and demanded the children attend. When she refused to give up her time, the issue went back to court—where the judge again sided with her, noting she had been “reasonable” in offering compromises.

Despite years of tension, the children remained close to their biological mother and continued addressing their stepmom by her first name. The couple claimed this was due to “alienation,” but the woman said it was simply because her children were uncomfortable with the way their father and stepmother tried to force the bond—such as insisting the kids spend Mother’s Day with the stepmom instead of their real mother.

Years later, the couple began facing infertility. “Apparently they were trying to have children together for several years,” she wrote. Her ex told her that his wife was infertile, sharing the news through their co-parenting app before asking for a month-long trip with the kids to visit his wife’s family.

The mother declined, pointing to their custody agreement, which did not require her to give up her parenting time. When her ex continued to press, she reiterated that “neither parent is obligated to give time up.”

Tensions flared again when they crossed paths at one of their children’s performances. The kids avoided hugging their stepmom, prompting the woman to accuse their mother of being “unsupportive” of her relationship with them.

“They said that all those years of infertility should have helped me find some compassion and understanding and make me willing to help them,” the mother recalled.

She admitted she “dismissed it,” explaining that she didn’t feel she owed them anything beyond what was outlined in their custody agreement. “I just want to check if people think I have behaved improperly,” she wrote. “Legally I am a-okay. This is not asking for legal advice. AITAH?”

One commenter responded bluntly: “NTA. Your ex is treating you as a surrogate mom and trying to cut you out entirely now that he found a new woman.”

The mother replied with a statement that summed up her entire experience: “He doesn’t see me as valuable to the kids because I was never valuable to him. In his world, he can just slot his new wife into my space and the kids will be happier like he was. He isn’t understanding that the kids and my bond is separate from our feelings for each other.”