A man turned to Reddit for advice after a heated disagreement with his wife over his teenage son’s savings — money that had been set aside by the boy’s late mother.
In a heartfelt post, the man explained the emotional and financial strain in his blended family, and how a vow made years ago is now testing his marriage.
The original poster (OP), in his 40s, lives with his wife and their five children. “I have a 16-year-old son with my late wife,” he wrote. “My wife has a 13-year-old daughter and a 12-year-old son with her ex-husband, and we share custody of them. Together, we have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old.”
Before his first wife passed away, she made one final request regarding their son’s future. “When my late wife was sick, she told me she wanted a portion of the compensation she received for her medical misdiagnosis to go into our son’s savings,” he said. “She also had a second savings account she wanted to add to it.”
He followed through and continued contributing to the fund. “I promised I would protect it and make sure it was only ever for him — nobody else,” he added.
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When he later remarried, he and his current wife agreed to contribute equally to savings for their children. “She knew I had always saved, as had my late wife,” he wrote. “We didn’t discuss exact amounts but decided on a set monthly contribution for all three kids. We revisited the plan again after our two youngest were born.”
Over time, financial pressures began to mount. “Recently there’s been a lot of stress on my wife,” he said. “Her ex has refused to talk about savings for my stepkids or whether he contributes.”
Their own savings plan also hit snags. “There are months we’ve missed because of life — things breaking, unexpected expenses, that sort of stuff,” he shared.
Eventually, his wife suggested they fully review all the children’s finances. “She told me we should lay everything on the table and figure out how to make sure everyone’s provided for,” he wrote.
While he was open to discussing what he personally saved for his oldest son, he drew a firm line regarding the inheritance. “I told her I’d happily talk about what I’ve saved, but not the money left by his mom,” he explained.
His wife pushed back, arguing that “all the money should be taken into consideration.” But he disagreed. “Our parents might be saving for the kids, her ex could be saving for my stepkids, his parents could be saving too,” he said.
The discussion soon became emotional. “She said it sounds like I don’t trust her,” he recalled. “I asked why she wants to know so badly. If we only talk about what we’ve personally saved, we’re being fair.”
She insisted that transparency would help them plan better. “If we knew everything, we could focus more on the kids who have less,” she told him.
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But her next idea left him shocked. “She said our younger two would probably be worse off long term, and she’d be open to combining all the money and dividing it,” he wrote. “I told her absolutely not — what my son’s mother left him is his alone.”
Their disagreement escalated into a full-blown argument. “She thinks it’s wrong since we’re married, but I told her it’s not my money or hers to touch,” he said. “It’s from my late wife to our son, and that’s where it stays.”
Still, his wife felt his refusal was a breach of trust. “She said it limits how open we can be as a couple when making family decisions,” he shared.
After posting his story, many Reddit users rallied behind him. One wrote, “Nope, NTA. That’s his inheritance from his mother — it’s not for anyone else.”
Another added, “It’s your son’s money, from his mother. Full stop. Four out of your five kids already have two parents — your wife doesn’t seem to understand what fairness means.”
