A 19-year-old college student turned to Reddit for advice after a disagreement with his best friend led to revoking his invitation to a Halloween party.
The student explained that he and his girlfriend had planned a small get-together with close friends who were traveling eight hours to visit. “It all started out six months ago when my girlfriend and I visited these friends eight hours away,” he wrote. Over the summer, the couple spent nearly every night with this group, while his best friend “refused to join.”
When the same group decided to visit for Halloween, the poster mentioned it to his best friend, who suddenly expressed interest in seeing them. “My best friend says, ‘if they’re coming I would like to see them too,’ ” he shared. Although they were mutual friends, he noted that his best friend hadn’t made “one effort during that time period to hang out except when he knows we will have plans,” often showing up when the couple had arranged double dates.
Despite those frustrations, the host still invited him. “Ultimately, I decided to invite him as he is my best friend,” he said. By that time, however, “most of the party had been planned already and catered to the people attending,” meaning it wasn’t designed with his friend in mind.
The hosts had set just two simple rules: everyone should wear a costume and bring a homemade Halloween-themed dish. “Our two requests for him attending were that he both wore a costume and brought a home-baked food that was Halloween themed,” he wrote. But his best friend “fought against this and thought it was stupid that it couldn’t be store-bought.”
The host, who had spent hours preparing, felt frustrated. “My girlfriend and I have spent hours planning this the way the rest of the group wants it to be,” he explained. “It felt unreasonable that my best friend, who essentially self-invited himself from the start, was now complaining and requesting everything be changed because he is unwilling to participate.”
Eventually, the couple decided to rescind the invitation. “Ultimately, my girlfriend and I as the hosts decided to revoke his invite,” he said, adding that “as of right now he will not be attending.” He felt it was unfair that his friend “can’t commit 1–2 hours to making something beforehand” despite their efforts to make the night enjoyable for everyone.
Uncertain how the situation would affect their friendship—especially since they are roommates—the poster asked readers, “Please let me know if I am in the wrong here.”
Reddit users overwhelmingly sided with him. One commenter wrote, “If he really wanted to be a part of it, he’s gotta play by the rules. Y’all put effort into making it fun for everyone; he can’t just walk in and demand changes.” The user added that it seemed like “a bit of FOMO on his end,” but said that was “his problem, not yours.”
Another agreed, saying, “Definitely not in the wrong. I can understand wanting to see friends and be invited to an event, but when you are invited, you need to follow the rules of the event. It really isn’t difficult to make something to bring, and he could’ve looked up something easy and affordable. He doesn’t get to dictate the rules of an event he didn’t plan.”
