Friend Bails on Bride’s Destination Wedding After Finding Out It’s Part of a Community Service Retreat

A wedding guest says they were misled after attending what they believed would be a relaxing destination wedding in Central America — only to find themselves spending the trip doing manual work as part of a community service retreat.

In a post on Reddit, the guest explained that their friend had invited them to “what was supposed to be a destination wedding” in Costa Rica. “She hyped it up as a tropical vacation with my best people,” the original poster (OP) wrote.

When they arrived, however, the itinerary took an unexpected turn. Guests were asked to join daily community service activities, including “painting schools, cleaning beaches and handing out supplies every morning before wedding events.”

The OP clarified that while they “don’t mind helping,” the invitation had given the impression of a vacation — not volunteer work. “I took unpaid leave for this trip thinking I’d get some rest,” they said.

After three days of labor, the OP decided to leave the group. “I told her I was going to a nearby hotel for the remainder of my stay,” they recalled.

The bride, they said, didn’t take it well. “She said I was disrespecting the purpose of her marriage and that I only came for Instagram photos,” the OP shared. They still attended the ceremony but skipped the remaining events.

The post ended with a question to fellow Redditors: were they wrong for bowing out early?

In the comments, most agreed the bride’s plan might have been well-intentioned but poorly communicated. “Not fair of her to hide the ulterior motive to get all of you there!” one person wrote. Another added, “She sold you a dream vacation and handed you a paintbrush instead. You didn’t disrespect her marriage; she disrespected your time and boundaries.”

Others said it would have been reasonable if the bride had disclosed her intentions upfront. “You have to TELL people beforehand so they can opt in or not,” one commenter wrote. “She could easily have said, ‘This hotel is a community service retreat, so there will be volunteer work, but guests can also stay nearby with no pressure to join.’”

Some pointed out that the bride’s charitable goals might have been better served in another way. “If everyone who flew to this destination wedding had just donated the money they spent on plane tickets, it would help this school 100 times more,” one user observed.

Another commenter noted the logistical challenges of the surprise setup. “If you’re planning a beach vacation, you probably didn’t even pack for the mission trip you got. I might go on a trip like that, but I’d want to mentally prepare for it.”

Finally, responding to the bride’s accusation that her friend was there “just for Instagram photos,” one Redditor wrote: “It’s perfectly reasonable to go to a tropical destination just for Instagram photos — especially when you aren’t told to prepare for anything different.”