A woman has shared her frustration and sadness about finding it difficult to make friends, despite her efforts to connect with people in her daily life.
In a post on Mumsnet, she explained that she’s noticed she’s never invited to social outings — whether it’s with her coworkers or the other mothers at her child’s school — and that turning casual conversations into genuine friendships has been “really hard.”
She said she’s often the one trying to reach out, inviting others to events, walks, or drinks after chatting with them. But no one ever follows through or accepts her invitations, even when the plans are family-friendly.
“It makes me a bit sad,” she wrote. “My sister-in-law, for example, has a whole host of friends. They’re always going over to each other’s houses, on holidays, days out, etc. But if we invite them out or over, they’re always busy.”
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She added that a new colleague who joined her workplace less than a month ago is already being included in social events, which has left her feeling excluded and discouraged. “Yes, I get it… the problem must be me… But I don’t know what it is that makes me not really have friends,” she admitted.
In the comments section of her post, many people empathized with her experience.
“I’ve always had this exact same issue,” one commenter wrote. “People do seem to enjoy my company when we talk, but we never get to the point of friendship.”
Another said, “I can relate to this. Making new friends as an adult is difficult. I don’t think anyone finds it easy. So it’s okay to struggle with it — just don’t give up.”
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Others offered practical advice, encouraging her to seek out people with shared interests. “Maybe you’re a bit different? I always think 70% of people are ‘normal’ and 30% are ‘a bit different,’ ” one person suggested. “If you’re in the 30%, you might not fit in with the school gate crowd, but you will — slowly — make a few friends in your special interest group: wild swimming, choir, hill walking, tennis, allotmenting… whatever.”
They concluded by encouraging her to “join some groups doing what you love and see what happens after a couple of years.”
