Michelle Obama Shares How She Got Her Daughters on Board with Dressing Presidential: ‘We Had a Deal’

Getting kids to dress the way you want is rarely simple — and it’s even more complicated when you’re raising tween girls in the White House.

In her new style book The Look, out Nov. 4, Michelle Obama shares how she handled wardrobe decisions for daughters Malia, 27, and Sasha, 24, during their presidential years. Her secret? Delegation. “Meredith worked with them,” she says, referring to her longtime stylist and friend Meredith Koop, who also co-wrote the book.

“She would sit down with them and talk about what they liked,” Obama recalls. “And she had those fights with them — ‘No, no, pull that down. That hem is going to be a little bit longer.’ ”

At their ages, fashion disagreements were inevitable. “Kids, growing up, have their own style. But what’s in for a 13-year-old isn’t acceptable walking down the staircase of Air Force One to a formal greet with President Medvedev,” she explains. “There’s protocol, and they knew that.”

To avoid public scrutiny, the Obamas struck a deal. “When they did things with us, the rule was: you work with Meredith when dressing for public events. I didn’t want them caught in the negative cycle of ‘What were they wearing?’ or ‘How dare they wear that,’” she says. “I told them, ‘You don’t want the smoke — just put the sweater on.’ ”

Still, she avoided including them in formal occasions. “I was so opposed to them doing these things because they were school nights,” she says. “Their job was to go to school and be kids. And I didn’t want them taking seats meant for important guests!”

Most of the time, Malia and Sasha weren’t interested anyway. “They didn’t think what we did was interesting,” Obama laughs. “They wanted sleepovers at their friends’ houses.”

While she and Koop helped shape their public image, Obama insists her daughters had full freedom in private life — even when their father didn’t love every outfit choice. “When they were in their own world — going to school, picking prom dresses — it was all them,” she says. “Like any parent, you find yourself saying, ‘You’re wearing that out?’ Barack would go, ‘Those shorts seem short.’ And I’d say, ‘Don’t say anything. Let them learn.’ ”

Because of the limits public life placed on them, Obama says it was important they had freedom elsewhere. “They needed space to play, to try on different versions of themselves,” she explains. “That’s what young girls do — experiment with makeup or style. Barack would say, ‘Sasha’s wearing makeup?’ And I’d say, ‘It’s just makeup — and it looks good!’ ”

Today, she beams with pride. “Now my kids are grown,” she says. “They’re launched, they’re healthy, and they’re happy.”