Man Refuses to Be Girlfriend’s ‘Default Wallet’ After She Asks Him to ‘Split Vacations 70/30’

In many relationships, money quietly tests the balance between care and fairness. What begins as thoughtful generosity can shift into quiet resentment when one partner starts to feel they’re always the one paying the bill.

That’s the situation one 28-year-old man described on Reddit after realizing that what started as kindness toward his girlfriend of one year had become an ongoing expectation.

“I make more, about 92k, she’s around 55k,” he wrote, explaining that he initially didn’t mind covering extra costs because he “liked her and I know I can afford it.”

At first, their arrangement seemed reasonable. “Date nights were usually on me, when we did a weekend trip I paid the Airbnb, she covered gas and breakfast,” he explained. But over time, that balance shifted in ways that made him feel used rather than appreciated.

The issue came to a head when his girlfriend sent him a “Pinterest-style vacation plan for Mexico,” suggesting, “if you can handle flight and hotel I can do food and souvenirs.” The flights alone were over $1,000, the hotel another $900 — while she continued spending freely on “a new iPhone, nails every two weeks, gym, pilates, DoorDash four times a week.”

His frustration, he said, boiled down to one thing: priorities. “I told her straight I don’t want to be the default wallet.”

He clarified that he wasn’t refusing to contribute more; he just wanted the relationship to feel reciprocal. But his girlfriend’s response made things more tense. She accused him of making her “feel poor,” saying, “you knew I make less, why are you punishing me for it?”

From his point of view, the issue wasn’t about income but about shared responsibility. “If she saved 300 a month she could cover her half easy,” he added.

Now, he’s wondering if he’s wrong for telling her he “won’t split vacations 70/30 anymore and calling her out on her spending.”

The post struck a chord with many commenters who had faced similar struggles. One wrote, “My friend’s girlfriend — now wife — was the same way. She’s gotten them into credit card debt so bad they have almost no savings, and every bonus he gets goes to bailing them out. She keeps digging deeper with one bad habit after another.”

Another warned, “You’re seeing a huge red flag — you’re lucky it showed before the wedding.”