Childhood Best Friend Assumes She’s Maid of Honor but Bride Has Other Plans

A bride-to-be turned to Reddit’s “Wedding” forum for advice after her childhood best friend began assuming she would be named maid of honor — despite the bride wanting to choose someone else.

She explained that while they “still talk,” their relationship isn’t as close as it once was. She was maid of honor at this friend’s wedding seven years ago, but now feels the dynamic has changed. The friend has also shown little effort in getting to know the bride’s fiancé, leading her to question how well the two actually connect.

Instead, the bride wants to give the role to a “super meaningful” friend she met during a brief breakup with her now-fiancé.

“My fiancé and I have been together eight years, broke up briefly in year five and reconciled. Everything is so much better since,” she wrote. “During that time, we lived out of state and I made some of the best people and have stayed close friends since.”

Now that she’s selecting her wedding party, she admits she’s torn and fears damaging a long-term friendship.

To minimize conflict, many Reddit users suggested eliminating traditional titles altogether. One highly upvoted comment recommended having a bridal party without a designated maid of honor: “My best friend couldn’t choose between me or her sister, so we were both just bridesmaids at the same level.”

Some Redditors noted potential drama over who stands closest to the bride at the altar, suggesting neutral approaches — like lining up bridesmaids by height — to avoid implying who holds the top spot.

Others offered alternatives such as naming two maids of honor or opting out of having a wedding party entirely.

One response summed it up simply: “There’s no good reason to publicly rank your friends. Let them all be bridesmaids, and make them feel special in other ways — like speeches — if you want.”

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