Man Wants to Attend Friend’s Destination Wedding 6 Weeks After His Baby’s Birth, but His Wife Says He’d Be ‘Abandoning’ Her

A soon-to-be dad is torn between supporting his close friend at an out-of-state wedding and staying home with his wife and their newborn — and the tension is already building.

In a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum, he explained that he plans to take two months of paternity leave after the birth of their baby girl so he can be home helping his wife. Because of that, he feels it would be “reasonable” to be away for one weekend to attend the wedding.

“But my wife is really hurt, and says I would be ‘abandoning’ her and the baby if I left them for that amount of time so close to the birth,” he wrote, adding that he wouldn’t be leaving her completely on her own.

“We have lots of family support in the area, so someone can definitely stay with her for those couple days to make sure she’s not left alone with the baby (her sister already volunteered to do so),” he said.

He also admitted that he doesn’t “even really want to go that much,” but feels “obligated” because it’s “an important, once-in-a-lifetime event” for his friend.

Commenters were quick to weigh in — and many sided with his wife, reminding him that becoming a parent for the first time is also a major life milestone.

“The birth of your first child is every bit as much of a ‘once-in-a-lifetime event’ as your friend’s wedding. Except this is happening to YOU and YOUR WIFE, not some college buddy from out of state,” one person wrote.

Another added, “Paternity leave is for you to be there with your wife and newborn child, not for you to take a three-day vacation to attend a friend’s wedding, regardless of your support system.”

Many urged him to think about just how intense the postpartum period can be, both physically and emotionally.

“Your wife and baby will never be as vulnerable as they are postpartum. She won’t be sleeping longer than 2-hour chunks, if she has a C-section she won’t be able to lift heavy objects yet,” one reader pointed out.

“Your wife will be sleep-deprived, hormonal, and still in residual pain after having the baby,” another commenter wrote. “The first 3 months are bad. If she and your baby can’t go, you don’t need to either. Don’t be the [a——] dad who leaves his newborn and parties it up while his wife is stuck at home.”

Others highlighted that his wife has already been very clear about how she feels — and that should matter most.

“Your wife is telling you she needs her partner, and you are not listening,” one person said.

Another commenter put it even more bluntly: “Your heavily pregnant wife has told you how SHE feels about it already. That is what matters, how SHE feels about you going. She’s communicated very clearly with you, and instead of listening, accepting and respecting that, you want to come to the internet hoping people will agree with you so you can justify yourself ignoring your partner’s wants and focusing on your own?”