Woman Gets Ghosted by Longtime Friend After Planning ‘Girls’ Day,’ Then Sees She Is Active on Social Media

A 22-year-old woman turned to Reddit for advice after her chronically late friend failed to show up for a long-anticipated “girls’ day.”

In her post, the woman explained that English isn’t her first language, but said she and her friend—also 22—have been close for years. “We met at school after I had to move, in the penultimate year, and we have been inseparable ever since,” she wrote.

Still, their friendship has gone through rough patches, largely because of her friend’s former relationship. The woman described the ex as controlling and the relationship as toxic. She said she tried to be supportive, but it was draining. “They had a very toxic relationship,” she explained, adding that the constant cycle of breaking up and getting back together was “very exhausting.”

The situation also created distance between the two friends. “I’m not blaming her, but it ended up driving us apart a little, since he seemed to see me as a threat,” she wrote. “And he should have, I always told her to end their relationship for good.”

After school ended, the friendship became less steady. Plans were rare, and when they did make them, the poster said her friend often canceled at the last moment. At the time, she excused it as a byproduct of the ex’s control.

Months ago, her friend finally ended the relationship and began dating someone new. The poster said she felt relieved and happy for her. “She finally ended that bad relationship months ago, started a new one, and everything is going well,” she wrote. “Which makes my heart happy; she and her new boyfriend are very cute together.”

They reconnected more recently when the poster helped plan a birthday party for her friend’s sister and met the new boyfriend. Seeing her friend thriving made the woman hopeful that their bond could return to what it used to be.

Feeling encouraged, she suggested a “girls’ day” of shopping. The outing mattered to her personally—she hadn’t bought anything for herself in about four years and was preparing for a trip to see someone important. Knowing her friend’s habit of canceling, she messaged the day before to confirm. They even joked about the unpredictable weather, and when the day turned out sunny, she said she was excited.

But her friend never arrived.

“She disappeared,” the woman wrote. “I sent her a message in the morning, but she never replied.”

Hurt but trying not to let the day go to waste, she headed out alone. What stung most wasn’t even being ditched, she said—it was the silence. “I think I was more upset about that than I would have been if she had replied to cancel,” she wrote. “I went shopping anyway while I waited to hear from her, but nothing.”

A full day later, she reached out again. Her friend finally responded, saying she’d been scratched by her boyfriend’s cat and woke up feeling dizzy with low blood pressure. The poster noted her friend didn’t apologize or acknowledge blowing off their plans.

That was the breaking point. The woman said she decided to step back from the friendship again, and when her friend messaged her later, she noticed her own replies felt colder than usual. “Would I be a jerk if I cut her off for good?” she asked.

She also said her friend’s social media activity made her question the excuse. According to the poster, her friend was posting normally that day, which reassured her nothing serious had happened—but also made the absence feel more deliberate.

In the comments, one reader told her bluntly that she wasn’t in the wrong. “That’s not a friend, that’s a flake,” they wrote. “She’s around when it’s convenient, clearly. The friendship is obviously one sided, and you deserve better. Drop her.”

The poster thanked them, though she admitted the situation was painful. She explained that her formal tone came from using a translator, not from lack of emotion. And she acknowledged that accepting the imbalance has been hard. “It was an issue that always came up in therapy,” she wrote. “I think it is just difficult to accept that my friend does not hold me in the same regard that I hold her.”