Bride Says Future Sister-in-Law Can’t ‘Commit to Being the Type of Bridesmaid She’s Looking for,’ So She Dropped Her

A bride has removed her future sister-in-law from the bridal party after deciding she wasn’t meeting her expectations as a bridesmaid.

The former bridesmaid shared her side of the story on Reddit’s “Wedding Drama” forum, asking others whether she was in the wrong. She explained that her brother and his girlfriend got engaged three years ago and have been slowly putting together their “dream wedding” ever since.

Early on, the original poster (OP) was asked to be one of the bridesmaids and happily accepted. But in the time since, her own life has changed significantly.

“In the years they’ve been planning the wedding, I had a baby and got engaged. We are planning a small celebration for a few months before my brother’s wedding, and going on a short, local honeymoon shortly after,” she wrote.

Recently, the bride-to-be sent her bridesmaids a detailed schedule of all the wedding-related events. As soon as the OP saw the plans for the bachelorette party, she says she knew there would be a problem. The trip would require her to fly out to a destination and be away from her infant son — just days before his first birthday.

She decided to talk to the bride privately and explain why she couldn’t attend. “I haven’t traveled that far away from my son yet, and I’m nervous about being a plane ride away if anything happens,” she said. “Also, financially, I didn’t think I could afford it, as my [partner] and I are paying for our own wedding celebration/honeymoon a few months before without financial help.”

The OP added that she and her partner are hoping to start trying for another baby soon, “so I don’t know that I’ll even be drinking.”

She also pointed out that the rest of the bridal party is in a very different stage of life. All of the other bridesmaids are much younger, and, as she described it, “few are married and none have kids.”

“Most of [them are] still living at home with parents or roommates. They’re not really worried about babies, mortgages, etc.,” she wrote.

According to the OP, the bride initially seemed “okay” with her decision not to attend the bachelorette trip. But after speaking with friends, the bride circled back — this time, “upset” about the situation.

That’s when the OP learned she was being removed from the bridal party.

“I’ve been asked to step down as a bridesmaid because she feels I cannot commit to being the type of bridesmaid she’s looking for. I’m very hurt by this,” she wrote, noting that she was still planning to attend every other wedding-related event — “and there’s a lot of them!” — except the destination bachelorette.

Commenters on Reddit overwhelmingly supported the OP and reassured her that it was completely reasonable to turn down the trip under the circumstances.

“YOU get to decide if the financial and time burden is more than your own family can bear. End of story,” one person wrote. “Go forth and don’t bachelorette or bridesmaid and live happily ever after!”

Another encouraged her to “stay strong,” adding, “You are making yourself and your young family the priority — don’t let her shame you for that.”

Someone else suggested that being dropped from the bridal party might actually be a blessing in disguise.

“No expensive bachelorette, dress, nails, hair, makeup, matching outfits, multiple showers. You will save thousands,” they pointed out.

Others criticized the bride’s attitude, suggesting she had become caught up in an unrealistic fantasy.

“Your sister-in-law has fallen into entitled princess mode, where everyone has to cover the most expensive and insane demands to give her the trips and fantasy she’s always wanted and could never afford,” one commenter wrote.

They continued, “As time goes on and costs mount up, you’ll be so relieved not to have to be part of it. Never go into debt for someone else’s party. Some of those bridesmaids will be paying off this wedding for years.”