Woman’s Ex Puts Daughter in Daycare During Days When He Has Custody. She’s Upset When He Asks Her to Split the Cost

A mother is conflicted over whether she should have to contribute to daycare costs for her daughter on the days the child is with her ex-husband.

In a post shared on Reddit’s AITA forum, the woman explained that her ex called to say he had enrolled their daughter in daycare for two days that fell during his scheduled custody time. She said she refused to split the cost because he had made the decision without consulting her first.

According to the post, she had already taken the week off from work and would have been available to look after their daughter during the day, but her ex never reached out before arranging daycare. Now she’s wondering if she was wrong to say no when he asked her to pay half.

Commenters overwhelmingly backed her up, saying each parent should be financially responsible for childcare on their own custody days.

“During your time with her you pay for any daycare costs. During his time with her, he should pay for any daycare costs. You are splitting custody so splitting expenses for her,” one person wrote.

Another commenter said, “NTA. And in fact, you shouldn’t help him with childcare on his days unless this is a reciprocal arrangement. He knows when he has her and needs to work around it just as YOU do, and you need your days off.” They added that if she volunteered too often, it could quickly become an expectation rather than a favor.

Someone else pointed out that these issues should ideally be clarified in the formal custody agreement. “Things like this should be spelled out in your custody arrangement,” they wrote, suggesting that the ex may have panicked when a last-minute conflict came up and then tried to shift both responsibility and cost.

A final commenter argued that the ex’s approach raised red flags. “That’s a manipulation on his part and his lack of communication prior to making that decision is not your responsibility,” they said, adding that they doubted he would step up to cover her childcare costs if the situation were reversed.