Mother-in-Law Starts New Christmas Eve ‘Tradition,’ Now Expects Everyone Else to Change Their Preexisting Plans

For many couples, dividing holiday time between families is tricky — and one woman says it’s become even more stressful since having a baby.

In a recent Reddit post, she explained that she and her husband have been together for over 10 years and married for almost six. Before they tied the knot, they always spent Christmas Eve at her mom’s house, and her now-husband was warmly included in those celebrations.

Once they got married, though, the dynamic changed. Her mother-in-law suddenly started hosting a Christmas Eve party and began expecting the couple to attend instead.

“All of a sudden MIL is having a Christmas Eve party at her house and expects us to go when she knows we always spent Xmas Eve at my moms,” she wrote, adding that for the first two years she tried to split the evening — stopping by her mother-in-law’s briefly before heading to her mom’s. By the third year, it became too overwhelming, so she told her husband she wouldn’t attend his mom’s event at all. He then chose not to go to her mom’s either, and they ended up staying home. Last year, they went only to her mother’s celebration.

She gave birth in August, and with Christmas coming up, she’s been thinking carefully about what feels safest and most comfortable for her newborn.

She told her husband she doesn’t want to bring their baby to his mom’s crowded party, especially because she knows her mother-in-law will expect to pass the infant around and “will not take no for an answer.” Her husband agreed, and they decided to spend Christmas Eve with her family’s smaller gathering, as they used to.

However, her mother-in-law keeps asking about their Christmas Eve plans and when she’ll get to see the baby.

“Am I being unreasonable if I don’t let them see baby for Xmas? These are the ppl that make a fuss when they have to wash their hands to hold her,” she wrote.

She added that she feels uncomfortable with the way they “drool” over the baby and expect her to hand the child over as soon as they walk in.

“It literally aggravates my soul. MIL doesn’t even know how to hold baby properly when I asked her to hold her the right away she said ‘no this is how I’m comfortable,'” she wrote. “Ever since then I never let her hold baby again.”

Now, she says part of her just wants to stay home and “hibernate” with her little one for the rest of winter, keeping pushy relatives at a distance. At the same time, she admits she sometimes feels guilty because she loves her husband and wants him to be happy, too.

Commenters encouraged her to stand firm and be clear with her boundaries.

“She absolutely will take no for an answer, because she doesn’t have any choice in the matter. You’re adults with your own home. She has no power over you,” one person wrote.

Another suggested a simple, direct script: let her mother-in-law know they’re “going to be prioritizing baby’s health, and building our own traditions for the holidays. We’ll catch up sometime over the next few weeks.”