Woman Says Careless Husband Constantly ‘Ruins’ Her Things: ‘I’m Losing My Mind’

Living with someone who constantly mistreats shared belongings can be exhausting — and over time, it can start to feel downright disrespectful.

One woman recently turned to Reddit to vent about her husband’s ongoing carelessness, describing how his behavior has begun to strain both their daily routine and their finances.

“I (29F) feel like I’m losing my mind over my husband (37M) and his complete lack of care for our belongings, especially mine and our son’s (1M),” she wrote.

According to her post, the problems began with laundry. She noticed that her husband regularly washed her clothes at the wrong temperature or mixed colors without thinking, which led to multiple items being ruined.

“He destroyed my white Nike pullover by throwing it in with his black clothes,” she shared as one example.

After several mishaps, they agreed on a system: she would wash her own clothes and their son’s, and he would be responsible only for his own laundry.

Even with that arrangement in place, the situation didn’t improve. He still occasionally grabbed and washed items that weren’t his, often with the same result. At one point, he shrank their baby’s wool onesie down to “the size of doll clothes.”

“This has happened with several of my things too, and whenever he ruins something of mine, he says I ‘have too many clothes anyway,'” she wrote. “The only reason I have more is because I take care of my stuff.”

The issue, she said, isn’t limited to clothing. She described a recent night that pushed her to her “breaking point.” While she was out with friends, her husband stayed home with their son. After putting the baby to bed, he cooked himself a steak and decided to light her pricey scented candles to cover the cooking smell.

“Last night was the breaking point. I went out with friends, he stayed home with our son. After our son went to bed, he made himself steak,” she wrote. “To get rid of the smell, he lit my expensive scented candles. Then he had to go upstairs to comfort our son and fell asleep there.”

“I came home three hours later to candles still burning in the living room, burned down halfway, unattended,” she continued, noting that he also left the kitchen hood dirty and refused to clean it after cooking.

When she confronted him about the safety risk and the money being wasted, he brushed off her concerns as “ridiculous” and accused her of constantly complaining.

She responded by pointing out that if he’s truly “trying,” he could at least try not to break things or create more work for her.

“He said he can’t even have a decent meal without me criticizing him,” she wrote. “Meanwhile, I’m the one who cleaned the hood afterward. I’m the one who buys replacement clothes for our son when he ruins them. I’m the one fixing the damage. And at this point, it is costing me a lot of money.”

The argument escalated until he called her disrespectful and insisted that she was the problem, leaving her feeling unappreciated and overwhelmed.

In the comments, Reddit users questioned whether his carelessness was truly accidental — and who was bearing the consequences.

One commenter asked if he ever “destroys his own things, or just yours and your son’s?”

“Does he ever replace the expensive things of yours that he uses or breaks? Does he expect you to never use his things or is the house essentially stocked by you because ‘he doesn’t know how?'” the commenter continued. “I just don’t see in this post of yours anywhere that he seems to even like you, let alone appreciate and adore you.”