Stepmom Orchestrates Photo Shoot for Husband and His 2 Kids. When Their Grandmother Asks for the Pictures, She Says No

A stepmom is under fire online after saying she doesn’t want to share individual portraits from a recent family photo shoot with her stepdaughters’ grandmother.

In a post shared on Reddit’s AITA forum, the original poster (OP) explained that her husband has two daughters from a previous relationship, and the girls have been living with them full-time for the past three years. According to OP, the children’s relationship with their biological mother is complicated, and when things at their mom’s home became unsafe, the girls moved in with OP and their dad.

OP said her husband paid child support for a long time, splitting the payments between the 1st and the 15th of each month, but they were never sure how the money was being used. She claimed the girls’ mother would “blow through it” and that, once the girls came to live with them, she and her husband took over all financial responsibilities. The girls’ mom does not pay child support now and is only expected to cover their flights for visits — costs that are frequently picked up by the girls’ grandmother instead.

OP added that she handles “95% of the parenting duties,” including school pick-ups and drop-offs, activities, and therapy appointments. She’s even rearranged her work schedule around the kids’ needs and says she’s genuinely happy to do it because she loves them and wants to be present in their lives.

Recently, she realized they had never taken a proper family portrait, so she decided to organize one. OP booked the photographer, paid for the session, coordinated outfits, and arranged hair appointments. The shoot went well, and the photos turned out beautifully. Her husband then shared the pictures on Facebook.

The next day, OP’s older stepdaughter told her that their grandmother had seen the photos online, loved them, and asked if OP could send her individual portraits of the girls. That request upset OP. She told her husband she wanted to send the grandmother a “polite message” explaining that she had arranged and paid for the session and didn’t feel comfortable sending individual photos that someone else might “redistribute or use in ways I didn’t intend.” Instead, she offered to send different pictures of the girls.

Her husband thought she was overreacting and told her they were “just pictures.” OP, however, said it felt strange that the grandmother made the request through the kids rather than directly through the adults, noting that this sort of indirect communication happens often.

OP also admitted she doesn’t want the photos passed along to the girls’ mom and felt the portraits were meant to be something special for their household. With the grandmother asking specifically for solo shots of the girls, OP said it feels like she and her husband are being cut out of what she intended as a family moment. Despite having raised the kids for years, she said she often feels like she’s being treated as if she doesn’t truly belong. She turned to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for refusing to send the pictures.

In the comments, many users said OP was in the wrong and described her reaction as unnecessarily harsh.

One commenter urged OP to seek therapy, suggesting that she sounded exhausted and stuck in “scorekeeping” mode. “Please be kind. Please love these girls more than you despise the adults in their lives,” they wrote, encouraging her to model grace and generosity. They pointed out that the grandmother is “their blood” and likely carries a lot of emotional pain about the situation, adding that it’s natural for her to want individual photos of her grandchildren.

Another person said they didn’t understand why OP would limit access to the pictures at all, arguing that family photos are meant to be shared. They suggested that sending framed copies to Grandma would make a perfect holiday gift. “If you aren’t sending the pics to Grandma, what even is the point of getting photos done?” they asked, insisting that OP should be thinking about what’s best for the kids, not protecting her own feelings.

A third commenter noted that, since OP’s husband already posted the photos on Facebook, they’re effectively out in the world anyway. From their perspective, trying to control who gets copies at this stage is pointless. They emphasized that the grandmother is simply trying to stay connected to the girls and that encouraging those relationships is important.

Several commenters suggested a compromise: print and frame the individual portraits, then let the girls present them to their grandmother as a gift. That way, the kids get to show love to someone who cares about them, and Grandma gets the cherished photos she wants — without turning the situation into a power struggle between adults.