Woman Says No to Flying Overseas at 30 Weeks Pregnant, Sparking Family Conflict

A woman asked the Reddit community for perspective after her family repeatedly pushed her to attend her sister’s overseas wedding—despite her concerns about traveling late in pregnancy.

“I’m feeling really conflicted and could use some outside opinions,” she wrote. The wedding required an eight-and-a-half to nine-hour flight, and she said that once she learned she was pregnant, she told her sister she wouldn’t be able to go.

She emphasized that the choice wasn’t made lightly. “I didn’t make the decision lightly — I’m very risk-averse and my baby’s safety is my top priority,” she explained.

At first, her sister was upset but seemed to accept it, asking her to keep thinking it over. The woman said she already had—and her position hadn’t changed. As the date got closer, though, she described the pressure escalating. “For the past two months every time my husband is about to book his ticket, my mum and sister call and try to convince me to come,” she wrote.

She shared that her feelings were split. She wanted to support her sister and be present for a milestone she expected would be meaningful and beautiful. But the idea of long-haul travel during late pregnancy filled her with dread. “I’m genuinely scared of air travel while pregnant, especially long-haul,” she wrote, adding that she would be around 29 to 30 weeks pregnant at the time.

Her sister encouraged her to speak to a doctor, hoping reassurance would ease the fear. She said her physician told her the flight itself was typically safe—but highlighted a concern that stuck with her: “The bigger risk is being stuck in a country I don’t know well if something goes wrong.”

That warning, she explained, made her anxiety worse rather than better. She said her doctor had seen patients travel late in pregnancy and end up delivering unexpectedly while abroad. “That uncertainty really scared me,” she admitted.

When she shared this with her sister, she initially believed she’d been understood. Instead, she said her sister shifted into solutions mode.

“She keeps trying to problem-solve it away — saying I’d only come for two days, that insurance would cover things, that I could fly business class,” the woman wrote. She added that her sister, an anaesthetist, felt confident everything would be fine. Even so, the woman said her fear didn’t disappear. “I hope she’s right, but I’m still terrified,” she wrote.

Tensions rose further when her husband tried to book his own ticket. “My mum and sister got angry at me and told him to wait because I might change my mind,” she said. The continued calls and arguments left her second-guessing herself, and she admitted she briefly wondered whether going would be easier simply to end the conflict. But she ultimately returned to what felt safest: staying close to her doctors, familiar healthcare, and support system.

In edits, she clarified the destination was the Philippines and that the wedding had been planned long before her pregnancy. She also shared that her sister warned her that if her husband booked his ticket without notifying her first, “she will be mad at me forever,” the poster wrote.

Eventually, she decided her husband would attend alone. “In a sense he is going for both of us so that’s ok,” she wrote, though she acknowledged she would have preferred he stay home with her.

The situation escalated again a few weeks before the wedding when her sister messaged both her and her husband about a flight she wanted to purchase immediately. After her husband reiterated that she wouldn’t be traveling, her sister called. The woman said she felt a wave of relief when her sister initially said, “‘It’s okay, you aren’t coming.’”

But the tone changed quickly. The woman said her sister then listed everything she’d done for her and accused her of refusing to do “one simple thing” in return. “She said everyone was disappointed in me, that she would never forget this,” the woman wrote, adding that the comments felt personal and deeply hurtful.

Even so, she said her decision remained unchanged. “I truly believe I’m doing what’s best for my baby and myself,” she wrote.

In the comments, many people supported her stance, saying disappointment was understandable but pressure and guilt were not. One person wrote that while her sister could be upset, “she doesn’t have every right to pressure you and bully you.” Another echoed the doctor’s concern about being far from home late in pregnancy and advised her to stay firm.

By the end of her post, the woman said she was focusing on what she could control: maintaining her boundary while still expressing love. “All I can do is hold my boundary and send my love, even though I’m heartbroken about how this has played out,” she concluded.