Woman Moves in with Fiancé and His Parents, but Tensions Rise Over Rent and Grocery Costs

Living with family can come with both support and stress — and for one 23-year-old woman, the stress is starting to win out.

In a post on Reddit, she explained that she moved “across the US” to be with her 25-year-old fiancé during his internship. When the internship ended, his family invited her to live with them.

“They did not discuss rent and I offered to sleep on the couch of their house since they didn’t have enough bedrooms for each person,” she wrote. Instead, she says the family mostly gave the couple the master bedroom — though the space still feels shared.

“They gave my fiancé and I the master bedroom for the most part, except the four of us share a closet and they have a huge dresser in there,” she added. “I figure I don’t pay rent so why do I care.”

But she says her fiancé’s 53-year-old mother has begun complaining about the setup and arguing that the couple should pay the majority of the rent because they have the master bedroom. The woman said she’s willing to contribute — just not to the extent the mom seems to expect.

“I tell her constantly I have no problem paying rent but she never comes up with numbers or furthers the conversation except to complain,” she wrote.

Even without paying rent, she said she tries to contribute in other ways. She works full-time at a grocery store and claims she cleans the home each morning before leaving for work (aside from vacuuming, since others are sleeping), handles chores like scooping cat litter, and buys pet supplies like flea medicine and cat food.

She also pushed back on the claim that she and her fiancé don’t help with groceries. According to her, she buys what she and her fiancé eat, purchases items when asked, and says his mom sometimes uses what they buy.

“I buy her stuff when she asks, I buy our stuff, and she uses our stuff too. I don’t complain because I don’t pay rent,” she wrote.

Tensions escalated after she mentioned wanting to move closer to her own family, about 10 hours away. She said the comment triggered a blow-up, with her fiancé’s mother ranting about the living arrangement and insisting that if they paid rent, the family could move into a bigger place.

The woman said she’d rather put that money toward living with her own mother — where she believes she’d have more privacy and lower costs, and where she may one day inherit the home.

“I’d rather pay rent to my mom because I’d have my own space (room and bathroom), it would be cheaper and we would inherit the house when she passes,” she wrote, adding that homes are also more affordable where her family lives.

In the comments, several people told her the financial expectations should have been clearly discussed before she moved in. Others said that regardless of how much she helps around the house, it’s still her fiancé’s mom’s home — and that the cleanest solution is either a direct conversation with clear numbers or moving out.

“All this should have been discussed before/when you moved in,” one commenter wrote, adding that while the mom doesn’t sound easy to live with, “you’re in her house.” The person suggested either moving out quickly or sitting down for a calm, practical conversation.

Another commenter was more direct: “Just move out and in with your mom then.”

In an update, the woman said her fiancé spoke with his mother afterward. According to the post, his mom said she felt bad about what she said, but believed the woman was already unhappy living there — and that’s why she’s leaving.

The woman also claimed she tried to find a larger place and offered rent so they could stay, but said the idea kept getting rejected.

“I tried to find a house and stuff bigger than our apartment and mentioned paying rent because I did want to live here but it’s constantly shot down,” she wrote. “So I’ve given up living with her. It seems like she just wants to stay here and complain.”