Mom Goes All Out on Her Son’s Birthday. Then, She Gets Upset When Her Husband Forgets to Celebrate Her ‘Birthing Day’ Too

A mother says she felt hurt after her husband didn’t follow through on a family tradition during their son’s birthday celebration.

In a post on Reddit’s Am I the A——? forum, the woman explained that she and her husband have two children and recently marked their toddler’s third birthday with a full day of festivities. They decorated with balloons for him to wake up to, made waffles for breakfast, and opened presents early so he could spend the day enjoying his new toys.

But while the day was focused on their son—as it should be—she said something felt noticeably missing. For years, her husband has observed a tradition he started with his own mother when he was a teenager: on his birthday, he would also give his mom a small “birthing day” gift to recognize the effort and sacrifice of bringing him into the world. According to the post, he carried that tradition into their marriage and continued it with her when celebrating their children’s birthdays.

This year, however, their son’s birthday passed without any mention of it. The mother said she didn’t expect the day to be about her, but she felt disappointed because the tradition had become an established part of how they celebrate as a family. Now, she’s debating whether to raise it with her husband—and wondering if she’d be wrong for feeling upset or for bringing it up at all.

In the comments, many readers questioned why she believed she should be celebrated on her child’s birthday in the first place.

“YWBTA, I have never heard of someone giving gifts to other people when it’s not their birthday. The fact he even did it at all is something you should be grateful and appreciative of and not EXPECT from him,” one person wrote. “You can ask him politely if there is a reason for him not doing it in case there is a secondary reason he didn’t do it just for clarification, but ‘confronting’ him about it is f—– up IMO.”

“It is equivalent to someone giving a homeless person $100 and then that homeless person getting pissed off the next week because that same person didn’t hand him another $100,” they continued. “If it was YOUR birthday, I would completely understand, but you should never expect gifts for someone else’s birthday.”

Another commenter said that while her feelings might be understandable, raising it with her husband could come off as unnecessary or self-centered.

“I think you would be the a—– for bringing it up,” they wrote. “It doesn’t make you an a—— if you feel disappointed or sad today, especially when you didn’t start the tradition, but it’s not as though you need another day to be celebrated—that’s what Mother’s Day is for, and also your own birthday. It’s time to just let this one go.”

A third echoed that point, arguing she already has days that are meant to honor her directly—and that her child’s birthday shouldn’t be one of them.

“YTA Why does your child’s birthday need to focus on you too?” they asked. “You get those extra special days dedicated solely to yourself with mothers day and your own birthday.”