Woman Refuses to Babysit Grandkids After Her Son and Daughter-in-Law Show Up Late and Won’t Pay

A woman says she’s finally learning to set boundaries with her family after years of feeling taken for granted — and she’s wondering if she went too far.

In a post on Reddit, the woman explained that she and her husband have been caring for their two grandchildren, now 2½ and 4, since both children were born.

At first, it felt doable. When the first grandchild arrived, her husband wasn’t working and she had a work-from-home job. But after their son and daughter-in-law welcomed a second child, the workload increased — and it landed largely on her husband, who began caring for both kids.

Eventually, the woman returned to full-time office work, while her husband continued providing childcare.

“He would get them around 6:30 a.m. and have them until about 7 p.m., two to four days a week,” she wrote, adding that they agreed to help so the children wouldn’t have to go to daycare.

Over time, the arrangement started to strain their finances. With the household operating on one income, the couple asked their son and daughter-in-law to contribute $60 per day for childcare. The parents agreed — but the payments quickly became unreliable.

“They would pay us when they got paid,” she wrote. “Then they started being late. We would say something, and then we’d get paid.”

The woman said the problems didn’t end there. She claimed her daughter-in-law began picking up the children later and later, often staying at work beyond the agreed pickup time. While the daughter-in-law would share her schedule, the woman alleged that she frequently worked late without warning.

According to the post, it has now been nearly a full year since the couple received any payment at all. She also said the children are often picked up two to three hours after the daughter-in-law gets off work, despite the commute taking only 30 minutes to an hour.

“We’ve made comments and stated we need to know if you’re going to be late,” she wrote.

She added that the situation is especially painful because she and her husband are struggling financially — while, in her view, their son and daughter-in-law still show up to family gatherings with new clothes, shoes, and freshly done nails.

The emotional tension has also grown, she said, alleging that her daughter-in-law has made snide comments about her — and even about her teenage daughter, whom the couple is still supporting.

Finally, the couple decided they couldn’t keep going like this. They asked their son and daughter-in-law to come over and laid out a clear message: if they couldn’t be paid on time — and if late pickups continued — then the parents would need to arrange different childcare.

Now, the woman is second-guessing herself.

“So, AITA for making them figure something out,” she asked, “or should we continue to be taken advantage of for the sake of my grandkids?”

In the comments, many readers encouraged her to hold the line and stop providing childcare without clear rules — while warning that her son and daughter-in-law might react badly.

“You are not obligated to watch the kiddos. But be prepared for them to ghost you,” one person wrote.

Another commenter argued that continuing to provide care without consistent payment only reinforces the behavior: “You’re really enabling them at this point… Why should they pay when you’re obviously going to do it anyway[?]”

Someone else summed it up bluntly: “It’s their kids, not yours… You have the right to decide when to watch [them], but they have no right to pause your and your husband’s life to prioritize their comfort.”