Man Tells Wife Going Through Menopause She ‘Looks Like a 50-Year-Old Woman.’ Then She Accuses Him of Cheating

A man asked the Reddit community for perspective after a conversation with his wife took an unexpectedly raw turn—leaving both of them rattled and forcing them to confront how aging has changed the way they see themselves and each other.

The 53-year-old husband opened his post by admitting, “I’m (53m) most likely the a——,” even as he made it clear how strongly he’s drawn to his wife, who is also 53. He said he finds her “gorgeous,” adding that she’s “more beautiful now than the day I married her.”

But he explained that things had been tense lately because his wife had begun criticizing other women’s appearances when they weren’t around. According to him, “She will pick at every perceived flaw,” and would often insist she looked “more beautiful and younger than other women.”

The situation came to a head after the couple ran into a former colleague of his in her 30s. Once they got home, his wife compared herself to the younger woman, claiming she looked more attractive—and younger.

Trying to respond honestly while still being supportive, the husband said: “I think she’s more beautiful than the colleague but she looks like a 50 year old woman.” He meant it as a straightforward observation, but it hit like a punch.

He wrote that his wife was “shattered,” and the moment quickly turned into something much deeper. She began talking about menopause and feeling like her body was “breaking down.” When he tried to hug her and reassure her, she pulled away and asked, “Why would I want to seduce an old woman[?]”

From there, the conversation spiraled. The husband said she suddenly suggested he might be “having relations with my former colleague,” or even seeing “a woman in her 20s.”

Then, he said, her insecurity veered into another direction entirely. “Then even more out of the blue, she said she’s white and I’m not so that’s why she looks much older than me,” he wrote. When he asked where that came from, she broke down crying and told him he was shaming her for aging. He added that she had been deeply upset ever since.

The man ultimately turned to Reddit to ask whether his attempt at honesty crossed a line that couldn’t be walked back.

Commenters had mixed reactions, but several focused on how identity can get tangled up in appearance—especially for someone who has long been praised for how they look. One person wrote, “For a beautiful woman who has always been admired for her looks, that becomes a very integral part of her identity,” and encouraged her to work toward self-acceptance, reminding her that “what is essential is invisible to the eyes.”

Another commenter summed it up more bluntly: “Menopause is a villain and she feels insecure and is being a meanie. NTA. But she needs support.”

In an update, the original poster said the situation had started to improve. “I’ve apologized to her and I’ve showed her this post,” he wrote, adding that his wife apologized too—and said “she’s going to get help for why she trash-talks other women.”