Woman Feels ‘Disrespected’ After Brother Gives Her Son Unwrapped, Thrifted Gifts for His Birthday

Gifts are supposed to feel personal—something that shows care and effort. But the way a present is chosen and handed over can sometimes do the opposite.

A 33-year-old mom asked Reddit for advice after a tense family moment: her brother and sister-in-law showed up to her 8-year-old son’s birthday celebration with a large bag of thrift-store clothing as his “gift.” Things got worse when she later learned the gifts may have been purchased using money her father had intended for her son—and then her sister-in-law demanded reimbursement when the mom rejected the items.

In her post, the mother explained that her son’s birthday comes right before Christmas, and her father traditionally sends $200 to help cover both birthday and holiday gifts. This year, she said, she and her father weren’t getting along—and instead of sending the money to her directly, he sent it to her brother.

Her brother, 28, is married and has two children. The mom said he attended her son’s birthday gathering with a “big bag of thrifted clothes” as the present.

What upset her most wasn’t thrifting itself, she stressed—it was the lack of care in how the gift was presented. According to her, nothing was wrapped or placed in gift bags.

“They didn’t bother to put it in gifts bags or wrapped in gift wrap. They literally brought it in the bag from the thrift store,” she wrote.

Feeling “disrespected,” she added that she wouldn’t treat her nieces that way and believed her father wouldn’t have wanted his money used like that.

After she talked it over with her mother, she said her father stepped in and called her brother about the situation.

Not long after, she received a message from her sister-in-law that escalated the conflict. The sister-in-law said she’d take the items back and donate them—but asked for the money back, writing:

“Hey, if you don’t want that stuff for your son, i’ll take it & give it to someone who needs it, I just need my money back. it was $170 for all that, I can pick up cash or you can send it here.”

The mom argued the money wasn’t her sister-in-law’s to reclaim—it came from her father and was meant for her son. That detail, she said, made the whole situation feel even more uncomfortable.

She finished by clarifying that she doesn’t look down on thrifted clothing. But using thrifted items as a child’s birthday and Christmas gifts—especially in a crumpled store bag—felt wrong to her.

“Personally I have no issue with thrifting clothes but to thrift a child’s birthday/christmas presents is really crazy and disrespectful to me,” she wrote. “I wouldn’t do that to their kids.”

In the comments, some readers understood why she felt hurt about the presentation. Still, many said the bigger issue wasn’t the thrifted gifts—it was what happened to the money intended for the child.

“Getting thrifted gifts is not the issue. That they pocketed the money from someone else and did not care enough to make the kid feel special, is,” one user wrote.

Another echoed that sentiment, saying that while their own children often receive thrifted items, what really matters is the moment of feeling celebrated—and that was missing here:

“My kids get a lot of thrifted gifts, and they do not mind in the least. But the unwrapping of a gift and feeling special in your bday is what counts and that was not the case in OPs story.”