Woman in Throuple Came Out as Bisexual and Polyamorous to Parents. She Never Could Have ‘Anticipated’ Their Response

When Alana Underwood, Kevin Jankay and Megan Smith decided to affirm their committed relationship as a throuple, they expected some challenges. But nothing made them more nervous than telling their parents.

In 2020, Underwood and Jankay had been dating for a little over three years when Underwood shared something she’d been thinking about for a long time: although she’d only dated men before, she wondered if she might also be romantically interested in women. She wanted to explore what bisexuality could look like — and she wanted to do it with Jankay.

Underwood says Jankay was open to the conversation. Together, they created a dating-app profile, believing they were looking for what Underwood describes as an “experimental, one-off, sexual experience” with another woman.

That’s when they connected with Smith. As the three spent more time together over the following months, the dynamic shifted. Eventually, they admitted what was becoming obvious: their connection had grown beyond a sexual start, and they wanted to be in a relationship together as a throuple.

Underwood, Jankay and Smith — who share their lives online as “Camp Throuple” for more than 300,000 followers on TikTok — have spoken about what life looks like in their unconventional relationship and what it was like coming out to friends and family.

The three moved in together in a 600-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and a single bedroom. They share a bed each night, rotating who sleeps in the middle.

As they settled into life as a trio, they realized that trying to make every part of each relationship perfectly equal wasn’t realistic. Instead, they learned to appreciate that each bond naturally has its own shape.

“The way you love each individual person is different,” Smith says. “That doesn’t mean it’s more or less — it’s just a different type of relationship. Like, mine and Alana’s relationship is very different from mine and Kevin’s. But that doesn’t mean it’s more or less. It’s just a different experience and a different type of love.”

Jankay adds that, for them, being a trio also brought unexpected benefits — even compared to the more traditional monogamous relationship he once had with Underwood.

“You get double the support and double the affection,” he says. “You can bounce something off one person and get feedback from another. If you’re in a quarrel or an argument with one person, the other person can show a perspective that you might not see because you’re in the heat of the moment.”

By the summer of 2021, they felt ready to tell their parents.

For Smith, the conversation went smoothly. Underwood says Smith’s parents were supportive from the start. But for Underwood, it felt especially daunting because she was coming out as bisexual and polyamorous at the same time.

“I sat down with my parents, and I was like, ‘Hey, so I’m bisexual, and I also have a girlfriend — who is also Kevin’s girlfriend,’ ” she recalls, laughing about it now. “No kidding, their jaws hit the floor.”

Even though the initial reaction was shock, Underwood says her parents adapted quickly.

“They were just like, ‘OK, so have you guys gone camping together?’ They just tried to figure out the best way to continue this conversation, and so it was a much better result than I could have anticipated,” she says.

Jankay’s experience was more complicated. He says his dad “didn’t know how to take it.” His mom initially seemed open, but later told him she “wasn’t OK” with the relationship. Jankay says he didn’t speak to her for two years, though they’ve recently started rebuilding their relationship.

“We’ve taken baby steps, and she’s started to have conversations with me, but it’s never about my life or asking how the girls are or anything like that,” he says.

Still, Jankay says they’re trying to meet the situation with patience. “But we believe that everybody’s on their journey and love can overcome everything,” he continues. “There’s no animosity or anger. She’s had her own journey, so I respect it, and when she wants to — and hopefully she does — I’m here.”

With friends, Underwood says, the reaction has been overwhelmingly positive.

“The friends that Kevin and I had — when they met Megan, they immediately were like, ‘You are our friend now too.’ They just welcomed her in. That was really cool for our like chosen family to accept her and bring her in.”