After One Chaotic Stay, Woman Says ‘Never Again’ to Hosting Sister-in-Law and Niece

A woman recently reached out to the Reddit community for advice after a challenging experience hosting her sister-in-law and young niece overnight.

She shares that a few months ago, her sister-in-law and her 3-year-old daughter stayed with them for nearly a week while the child underwent an autism assessment in their state.

“I had suggested to my partner that they stay in a hotel, even offered that we cover the costs because my SIL is what I could only call a free range mom,” she explains, adding, “She is struggling and is likely trying to do whatever will make the day go by.”

The woman tried to be as accommodating as possible, mindful that she and her partner have a 4-year-old son with specific routines and household rules.

“Aside from our weekly movie night he doesn’t access any other screen time and doesn’t have a personal device,” she says, but her niece “was glued to her iPad the entire time, volume on loud and if my SIL tried lowering the volume the kid would start screaming.”

Initially, they hoped it would be a learning experience. “This is a good opportunity for him to understand that some people do things differently for whatever reason.” But by the third day, the situation had become overwhelming. “It was clear that this wasn’t just about the kid getting used to a different environment, it was full-blown chaos,” she recalls.

The disruption affected the whole household, especially their son, who had trouble sleeping due to the noise. “Constant screaming and banging well into the night, the iPad on loud until nighttime too. It kept everyone up,” she shares, noting that even in their spacious five-bedroom home, “we all stayed up because of it including our son who could not sleep until he asked to stay in our room.”

Her stress extended beyond bedtime. Working from home became a struggle. “I occasionally WFH but just couldn’t and had to leave,” she admits.

She also highlights that her sister-in-law’s lack of boundaries went beyond noise and screen time. “My SIL would say she was stepping out for a walk and be gone for hours, leaving her daughter with us with no heads up or prep,” she says, emphasizing her empathy: “I want to be clear, I have so much empathy. I know parenting a child with additional needs is exhausting.”

Despite understanding, she felt taken advantage of. “I didn’t sign up to be free childcare, especially when we were already hosting them, driving them around, buying a lot of additional frozen food and snacks that we never keep at home so that the daughter could eat,” she explains. All this was happening “while trying to maintain some structure for our own kid.”

Afterwards, she and her partner argued about the experience. “He felt I was being too harsh, I said, if they need to come again for another assessment, we either book and pay for a hotel if they really can’t afford it or set very clear boundaries about what kind of help we’re able to offer, and stick to them,” she recounts.

Now, with another assessment coming up, her sister-in-law has asked to stay again. The woman is standing firm, writing, “My partner thinks I’m being unkind and unsupportive, but I honestly think we did everything we could last time and hosting again is just too stressful. So I said no.”

Commenters overwhelmingly support her.

“Mean suggestion incoming,” one wrote. “How about you book a hotel for you and your son and let your partner deal with his sister and niece? He won’t invite them again.”

Another added, “Have either of you communicated with your SIL about the impact the last stay had on your family? She may not like hearing it, but you have valid points — the disruption to your/your child’s schedule, the free childcare, the food, etc. You have a right to your peace and aren’t obligated to host anyone who causes chaos in your household.”