After Years of Unpaid Loans, Woman Tells Sister ‘No More Money Without a Written Agreement’

A woman has turned to the Reddit community for advice after a tense confrontation with her older sister over money — a boundary she says she can no longer ignore.

After years of lending cash without meaningful repayment, she says she’s finally reached her limit.

“I have loaned my older sister money a few times over the past few years,” she wrote. “Nothing huge, usually a few hundred here, maybe a thousand once, but it’s added up.” Despite these repeated gestures of support, her sister has rarely paid her back — only sending small amounts sporadically and offering excuses each time.

From job losses to breakups and car trouble, the reasons have varied, but the result has remained the same: the money never fully returns. “I never made a big deal out of it,” she explained. “She’s my sister, I love her, and I know she’s had a rough few years.”

This time, though, when her sister asked for $2,000 to cover rent after a roommate abruptly moved out, something changed. “Honestly, I snapped a little,” she admitted.

Rather than simply handing over the cash, she suggested a compromise: “I told her I could help but only if she signs a basic agreement this time saying she’ll pay it back within a year.”

She clarified that it wasn’t anything formal or legally binding — just a simple document outlining a clear repayment timeline. Her sister, however, didn’t take it well.

“She got super offended,” the woman said. “Said I’m treating her like some random borrower, not family.”

The sister insisted she would never take advantage of her — something the poster says contradicts their history. “She would never screw me over,” the sister argued, to which the poster added, “Even though… she kind of already has.”

The woman tried to explain that her request was about boundaries, not distrust. “I told her this isn’t about trust, it’s about boundaries,” she said. “I’m not a bank.” She also noted that lending the money impacts her own financial stability: “I’m not exactly rich, I’m just better at budgeting and don’t live paycheck to paycheck like she does.”

The disagreement soon pulled in their parents, who urged her to drop the request for the sake of family harmony. “They’re telling me to just let it go, that family helps family,” she wrote.

Still, she’s standing firm: “I’m just tired of being the fallback plan with no accountability.” While she’s willing to help if her sister agrees to the terms, she doesn’t want to continue giving without expectations. “If she was just paying all the loans I gave to her, I would not mind giving it,” she said.

As she shared her story under the “Advice Needed” tag, one commenter offered reassurance: “You’re not a bank. Setting limits doesn’t make you the bad guy.”

Now, she’s left questioning whether drawing the line with family is an act of fairness — or if it makes her into someone she never wanted to be.