When it comes to baby names, Colleen Slagen and Jessie Paquette don’t sugarcoat their opinions — even about names they personally can’t stand.
The two friends, who both work as baby naming consultants, recently launched a podcast called Name 911. In a recent episode, they tackled a touchy topic head-on: the names they truly dislike, in a segment bluntly titled “Names We Hate.”
Slagen says there are a few specific categories she’s not on board with, especially last names being used as first names. Speaking with Today, she explained that these can walk a very fine line, often landing as either “country bumpkin” or “preppy lacrosse player.” Still, she notes that how a name feels is heavily influenced by the person who wears it.
“It totally depends on the user. It depends on where you’re from. It depends on who you’ve met with that name,” Slagen says.
Paquette, meanwhile, takes a more relaxed approach to criticism. She believes it doesn’t really matter if someone else hates your baby’s name, because naming is deeply personal and not everyone will connect with your choice.
“Someone not liking your baby name is like someone just having a different interior decorating style than you,” she tells Today. “You might not like farmhouse, but it doesn’t really have anything to do with you because you don’t have to live there.”
Still, there are some names the two consultants actually agree on. In the episode, they landed on ten names they both dislike.
For boys, they called out August, Beau, Porter, Keegan, Griffin and Maverick. For girls, they listed Olivia, Sophia, Eliana and Lydia.
Paquette says she’s not a fan of many top-ranking girls’ names, including Olivia and Sophia, simply because she hears them everywhere. Eliana, she adds, made her list because it feels like it’s “trying too hard.” She also isn’t fond of August and Beau.
Slagen explains that Lydia doesn’t work for her because it brings to mind a “Crazy Aunt Lydia” character she just can’t unsee. Porter, she says, makes her think immediately of “Porter Potty” jokes, and she’s similarly not into Keegan or Griffin.
Despite these shared dislikes, the pair also emphasized that even they don’t always agree — and that’s exactly the point.
“There are names that I borderline almost named my child that actually give Colleen a visceral reaction and vice versa,” Paquette tells Today.
Slagen agrees, adding that it’s completely normal not to love someone else’s baby name choices: “You might not like all the names I chose for my kids, and that’s okay.”
