Boyfriend Oversleeps After Promising Her a 4 A.M. Ride to Work. She’s Mad, but He Says He Was ‘Doing Her a Favor’

A young woman turned to Reddit for perspective after ongoing frustration with her boyfriend’s behavior left her wondering whether she was wrong for feeling upset.

After starting a new job with shifts as early as 4 a.m., the 22-year-old found herself relying on her boyfriend for transportation when ride-share costs quickly became unmanageable.

In her post, she explained that she began the job at the end of November and needed to arrive between 4 and 5 a.m. At first, she used Uber and Lyft, but the costs added up so quickly that she “ran out of money before my first paycheck since the pay is bi-weekly.”

When she casually mentioned this financial pressure to her 24-year-old boyfriend, he volunteered to help. “He suggested it by saying, ‘I’m sure that I can take you,’ ” she wrote, adding that she even double-checked to make sure he was truly okay with waking up that early on a regular basis.

Initially, things went smoothly—but only for a short time. “The first couple days were fine, but on day three he almost didn’t wake up,” she recalled. The following day, he didn’t wake up at all, despite having promised to drive her.

What stung most, she said, wasn’t just missing the ride but how he responded afterward. Instead of apologizing, he told her she had “no right to be mad because it was a ‘favor.’ ”

Weeks later, unreliable ride-share service in her area created another stressful situation when a driver made her 40 minutes late to work. Wanting to avoid a repeat, she again asked her boyfriend if he could drive her just for one morning, and she said he agreed.

The next morning, however, the pattern repeated. “I woke up at 3 a.m., texted him, no answer,” she wrote. After a brief exchange, he stopped responding entirely, forcing her to give up and order another Uber so she wouldn’t miss her shift.

By the time he finally woke up hours later, the emotional damage was done. She said he was upset with her for being upset, while she felt more drained than angry. “I’m not even enraged about it, I’m just over it,” she wrote.

“I’m frustrated not because he can’t wake up early, but because he keeps agreeing to do something and then blowing me off,” she added.

She acknowledged that it might not have been wise to depend on him again after he had already let her down, but noted that he had recently shown small efforts that gave her hope. For instance, he had begun timing his lunch break with the end of her shift so he could pick her up, which made her think he was trying to be more supportive.

In the end, she asked Reddit whether she was wrong for feeling the way she did or whether her boyfriend was at fault for repeatedly failing to follow through. Many commenters quickly reassured her that her frustration was understandable and that the issue went beyond a simple favor.

“NTA. Work is important,” one commenter wrote, emphasizing that once someone commits to driving a partner to work, it becomes a genuine responsibility. “It’s not something that can be blown off without notice. He put you in a stressful situation having to scramble and make new plans last minute. Anyone would be frustrated in your shoes.”

Another commenter focused on what the situation revealed about the relationship’s future. “Having a dependable ride to a dependable job is important to your wellbeing, present and future,” they wrote.

They went on to say that supporting each other’s ability to earn a living is a basic part of a healthy partnership. If he knew he couldn’t reliably wake up that early, they argued, it would have been better for him to say so from the start rather than repeatedly agree and then bail. In their view, his behavior signaled that he “is not good life partner material” and advised her to consider moving on.