A weekend meant to celebrate friends turned awkward fast for one pair of wedding guests after the newlyweds asked them to pay for lodging only after the event was over.
In a post on Reddit’s “Am I Overreacting” forum, a 33-year-old woman said she and her husband were surprised—and frustrated—when the bride and groom sent a message requesting $150 each to cover the Airbnb where everyone stayed. The catch: the cost had never been mentioned beforehand.
“My husband is really upset, and I’m annoyed,” she wrote. “Should we have expected to pay and are overreacting?”
The woman explained that she and her husband were invited to a small elopement weekend with about 16 guests. The invitation was light on details, telling guests only: “Just bring yourselves, we’ve got food and drink covered.” Nothing about accommodations or costs was included.
Two weeks before the ceremony, after she followed up for more information, the couple texted the group with the dress code, itinerary, and address of an Airbnb roughly three hours away. Again, there was no note about anyone needing to chip in.
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During the weekend, the poster said she and her husband ended up pitching in quite a bit—bringing some decorations and food, helping prep meals, and cleaning the house multiple times. They even gave up their private room and moved into a shared one so another couple could have more privacy. She said they didn’t mind, knowing how much effort wedding weekends can take, and overall they had a good time.
But a few days after everyone returned home, the groom sent a text asking for Airbnb contributions.
“This was not mentioned to us anywhere beforehand,” she wrote. While the amount wasn’t a financial strain, the timing felt off.
“If they had told us upfront, we would’ve budgeted for it or at least known what we were signing up for,” she added. “Being asked after the fact makes us feel like we’re being nickel and dimed.”
She also noted that the couple plans to host a larger destination wedding in Mexico next spring—meaning flights, hotels, and time off work on top of this unexpected request.
Most Reddit commenters agreed the couple handled things poorly, saying it’s unfair to ask for money after the event without warning. Some suggested the newlyweds may have overbooked or tried to cut costs by framing a destination-style weekend as an “elopement.”
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“Sounds like they overextended themselves somewhere and want guests to pay after the event happened,” one commenter wrote. “They should have been upfront if they were charging for attendance.”
Others recommended not sending any money at all, while a smaller group argued that paying for your share of lodging should be assumed. A few people suggested a middle-ground approach: pay the $150 this time, but skip the Mexico wedding.
As one commenter put it, destination weddings are getting out of hand when guests are expected to absorb surprise expenses—especially after already showing up to celebrate.
