Bride Refuses to Give Divorced Parents a Plus-One to Her Wedding. Now, Neither Plans to Attend

A bride-to-be turned to Reddit for advice after a painful dilemma with her long-divorced parents threatened to overshadow her wedding day.

Although her parents have been separated for 20 years, she said their inability to get along is still the one thing capable of ruining what should be a happy milestone.

In her post, she described both parents as “self-centered, and emotionally unstable,” adding that they are “quick to react, no filter, etc.”

She also shared that her father has been dating a woman 30 years younger for about a year, which she finds “weird and embarrassing” and is certain would “totally trigger” her mother. “The only part about my wedding that causes my stress or anxiety is my parents’ dynamics — the fear of drama at my wedding, or my parents acting out,” she wrote.

To reduce the risk of a scene, she decided that neither parent would get a plus-one. She felt that not inviting her dad’s girlfriend would help keep tensions down and “minimize” the chances of an outburst.

Then her mother made a surprise request: she wanted to bring her ex-boyfriend — a man she broke up with five years earlier and whom the bride hasn’t spoken to since. The bride pointed out that “he hasn’t even met my fiancé,” which made the request feel even more out of place.

When she told her mother he wasn’t invited, her mom “freaked out” and said she wouldn’t attend the wedding without him. Things escalated further when the bride gave her father the same boundary — no plus-one — and he responded by saying he also would not come if his girlfriend couldn’t attend.

The bride noted that neither parent has helped with wedding planning and that they’ve “never met my fiance’s family or 99% of my friends attending the wedding,” underscoring how distant they are from her current life. Despite this, she still questioned whether she was wrong for refusing to grant them plus-ones.

Reddit users overwhelmingly supported her decision. One commenter wrote, “Sounds like this problem solved itself. Do not back down,” adding that her parents need to “behave like civilized adults” if they want to stay in her life.

Another pointed out the unexpected upside: “I think they both just gave you the gift of a stress free wedding!” They suggested a simple, firm response: “You do not have a plus one for the wedding. If you feel like you can’t come because of this, I completely understand. I will go ahead and count your RSVP as no.”