Bride Regrets Asking 2 Friends She’s Only Known for 1 Year to Be Bridesmaids. Now She Wants to ‘Revoke’ Their Roles

A bride-to-be is questioning whether it’s too late to ask two of her bridesmaids to step down after realizing she doesn’t feel as close to them as she expected.

In a post shared Wednesday, Dec. 31, on Reddit’s “bridezillas” forum, the woman asked fellow users for advice, opening with a blunt question: “Am I in the wrong if I want to revoke the bridesmaids position?”

She explained that she has only known the two women for about a year and has begun to feel that the connection isn’t as meaningful as she hoped. While she acknowledges that everyone has busy lives, she said she often feels like an afterthought.

“I understand that they each have their own lives and are busy,” she wrote, “but I don’t even feel as though they think of me or consider me.”

According to the bride, there hasn’t been any major conflict. Instead, the issue is a lack of emotional closeness. “We all get along and have fun,” she explained, “but it’s not a meaningful relationship, and I think my bridesmaids and I should have that.”

She noted that no one has spent money on dresses or events yet, which makes the decision feel more possible, though still uncomfortable.

Adding to her concerns, the two bridesmaids are close friends with each other and part of a larger social circle that often excludes her. While they occasionally have casual get-togethers together, she said she is rarely invited to bigger events.

As an example, she mentioned attending their holiday party the previous year but not receiving an invitation this time around. On other occasions, she said she was told plans were uncertain, only to later see posts showing the event went ahead with their wider friend group.

The imbalance felt especially clear during the holidays. The bride said she gave both women thoughtful, personalized gifts along with handwritten letters. In return, one provided baked goods meant for a larger group, while the other said her gift was delayed and has yet to follow up.

“We’ve known each other for over a year now, but when I think about it, it feels like they don’t really try to know me,” she wrote. “We don’t have deeper conversations. We don’t really text, and they haven’t given me a personal gift for my birthday or Christmas.”

While she admitted it might not seem like a huge issue, she said she doesn’t want to keep them as bridesmaids simply to avoid an awkward conversation or because they “get along enough.”

She also expressed hesitation about addressing the issue directly, noting that a previous tense conversation with one of the women didn’t go well and may have contributed to their growing distance.

“I’m willing to end the relationships with them too,” she added, explaining that she values deeper, more meaningful connections. “Yes, we have fun and get along, but is that enough to be a bridesmaid?”

In the comments, many Reddit users focused on one central question: why she asked them in the first place.

“Why did you ask them to be your bridesmaids to begin with, if you’ve only known them for a year and you’re not that close?” one person asked. Another suggested that the bride may have assumed a level of closeness that the other women didn’t feel.

One commenter challenged the idea that being a bridesmaid is a privilege, writing that it can be more of a burden, especially for someone who isn’t a close friend. “Do everyone a favor and ask them to step down,” the user advised.

Others offered gentler guidance. One person suggested that the friendship may simply mean more to the bride than it does to the bridesmaids.

“If you’ve only known them a little over a year, they may not view the bond the same way you do,” the commenter wrote. They added that it’s reasonable to ask them to step down if no expenses have been incurred, suggesting a kind explanation about wanting a smaller, more intimate bridal party while still inviting them to celebrate the wedding.

“All the best for a beautiful wedding,” the user concluded.