A man turned to Reddit for advice after ending his engagement, saying wedding planning exposed serious differences in how he and his fiancée viewed money, priorities and long-term stability.
The 35-year-old explained that he lives frugally, owns a paid-off home and has a steady sales job. He said he has always focused on saving and planning ahead, describing a simple lifestyle built around financial security.
Trouble began when the couple met with a wedding planner and he realized his fiancée already had costly expectations. He wrote that the wedding would total around $35,000 — an amount he considered unreasonable, especially since she earned only slightly more than that annually.
Feeling caught off guard, he suggested they review their finances together before getting married. During the conversation, he said he learned she had no savings and carried significant credit card debt, paying only the minimum each month.
He compared that to his own approach, explaining that his savings were meant to protect his independence and give him flexibility — enough to maintain his lifestyle for six months if he ever needed to step away from work.
According to him, his fiancée argued the wedding expense wouldn’t really affect him. He recalled her saying it wouldn’t change anything if he withdrew $35,000 from his savings to cover the cost — a comment that made him feel increasingly uneasy about their financial mindset.
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The conflict deepened when she found out he had been helping his brother by paying a $1,700 monthly mortgage. He explained that his brother had supported him through college and recently took on heavy debt after his daughter needed serious surgery. He described his help as intentional and time-limited, writing that covering the mortgage for two years was a meaningful birthday gift while his brother’s family recovered financially.
He said his fiancée demanded he stop supporting his brother, and that request crossed a line.
At that point, he ended the relationship, concluding they weren’t compatible — both because of the wedding expectations and because she wanted him to cut off help to his brother. He also said that although his mother and sister urged him to compromise, he believed financial compatibility and shared values around money and family were essential for marriage.
In the comments, many Redditors backed his decision, saying the couple seemed misaligned financially and that it was better to discover the issue before getting married.
