Bride Wants Her Future Mother-in-Law to Wear a Fabric She ‘Hates’ at Wedding. Her Fiancé’s Sister Thinks She’s Out of Line

A bride-to-be is catching heat online after making a very specific request of her fiancé’s family—one that especially upset her future mother-in-law.

In a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum, the 21-year-old said she’s getting married in February and has spent the past year planning the event. But one decision, she explained, has caused tension with her future in-laws—particularly after her future sister-in-law accused her of failing to consider her fiancé’s family during the planning process.

The bride said she and her fiancé previously agreed on a particular look for their wedding: a specific shade of blue in stretch satin from a bridal brand she described as relatively affordable. From there, the couple decided to ask not only the bridesmaids, but also their mothers, sisters, and grandmothers to choose dresses from the same website—in the exact color and fabric.

“We are being pretty specific about the material because even if you order the same color in a different material, it will look completely different,” she wrote.

That level of detail didn’t sit well with everyone. The bride said her future sister-in-law confronted her and claimed their mother “hates satin” and would be uncomfortable all day. According to the bride, the sister-in-law also argued that it was inconsiderate not to check with the mother-in-law about the fabric before setting the expectation—though the bride emphasized that she and her fiancé made the decision together.

The bride added that she believed she had made genuine efforts to accommodate her fiancé’s family overall. She said she changed the wedding destination from overseas due to her future in-laws’ “legal status,” adjusted plans to include their “very large immediate family,” and worked to incorporate Spanish into the ceremony because it’s their primary language.

Still, she ended her post with the central question: was she wrong for wanting her mother-in-law to wear a satin dress—and had she been inconsiderate during the planning process?

Commenters overwhelmingly sided against her.

Many said the request wasn’t typical and pointed out that satin can be uncomfortable, unflattering, or simply not a fabric people enjoy wearing—especially for long events. Some also criticized the limited options, with one person claiming they reviewed the dresses from the brand and didn’t see a single choice they felt suited a middle-aged woman.

Others took issue with the underlying idea altogether. One top-voted response argued that wedding guests shouldn’t be treated like part of the décor, writing that people are “guests… not props for the color matching,” and adding that expecting someone to pay for a dress they didn’t choose wasn’t reasonable. Another agreed, saying the mother-in-law “is not a prop to make your wedding look a certain way.”

A different commenter suggested a compromise: share a color swatch and let the mother of the groom choose her own dress from any retailer, prioritizing comfort and personal preference.

As one person put it, the bride seemed more focused on the visual “vision” than on her future mother-in-law’s comfort—and, they added, the mother-in-law shouldn’t have to wear a fabric she dislikes just to match the wedding aesthetic.