A bride-to-be is wrestling with whether she made the right choice by keeping her pre-wedding plans intact, even though it means missing her grandmother’s funeral.
In a post on Reddit’s popular “Am I the A——” forum, the 30-year-old explained she wanted “some outside perspective” before making her final decision. She noted this was her first time seeking advice on the platform, as the dilemma had been weighing heavily on her.
She and her 29-year-old fiancé have three wedding events scheduled for the upcoming weekend: her “kitchen tea” (bridal shower), her bachelorette party, and his “stag party” (bachelor party).
“This weekend has been planned for months, with people from all over coming to attend,” she wrote.
On Thursday, July 31, her paternal grandmother unexpectedly passed away. The funeral was set for next Saturday—right in the middle of the planned festivities.
“My father wants me to cancel the weekend and come through for the funeral,” she said.
However, she explained that she didn’t have a close relationship with her grandmother and felt reluctant to give up her long-anticipated celebrations.
“For some context, my parents divorced when I was 7, and we didn’t really have a relationship with my father or his side of the family,” she shared. “Over the last five years my sister and I got closer with our father again. We currently have a great relationship, but we never reconnected with his side of the family.”
She ended her post by asking: “Would I be the asshole for not canceling the weekend’s plans and not attending my grandmother’s funeral?”
Many Reddit users voted her NTA (Not The A——) but urged her to think about her father’s feelings and the potential impact on their relationship.
“I’m not sure how you expect your father to feel knowing you were basically partying while he buried his mother,” one top commenter wrote. “If you want to be close going forward, maybe consider whether this would affect it.”
Another added: “It doesn’t really matter if you connected with your father’s side of the family or not. Funerals may be about the dead, but they are for the living. Your father is asking you to be there for him while he grieves for his mother. If you don’t attend, you risk doing permanent damage to the relationship. I don’t think that’s fair, but it is a possible outcome.”
