Britney Spears Feels ‘Brain Damage Happened to Me’ but Says She Has ‘Moved on’ amid Ex Kevin Federline’s Book Release

Britney Spears is opening up about one of the darkest times in her life.

In a reflective Instagram post shared on Sunday, Oct. 19, the pop icon appeared to look back on her four-month stay in a rehab facility in 2018 while under a conservatorship, saying the experience left a lasting impact. “I do feel like my wings were taken away and brain damage happened to me a long time ago 100 percent,” Spears wrote.

Spears shared a photo of herself riding a horse and compared her shoulder blades to “wings,” using the 2014 film Maleficent as a metaphor for resilience and recovery. “Remember the king tried to kill her but instead a guy secretly took her wings,” she wrote, adding, “anything holy is never forgotten … Her wings were holy so the king couldn’t take them.”

The “Toxic” singer then reflected on the time she says she was “illegally forced to not use [her] feet or body to go anywhere” during the rehab stay — an experience she briefly mentioned at the end of her 2023 memoir, The Woman in Me.

“For a person like me who understands the sacredness is god speed… it did more than hurt my body,” she continued. “Trust me, there’s A LOT I didn’t share in my book and still things at this very moment I’ve kept hidden because it’s incredibly painful and sad… I couldn’t dance or move for five months.”

Spears said she once felt physically stronger than she does now, recalling how she “used to swim with [her] babies on [her] back till they were 4 and 5,” referring to her sons Jayden James, now 19, and Sean Preston, now 20.

The Grammy winner revisited the Maleficent analogy, noting how the character ultimately finds her wings again. “I have of course moved on from that troubling time in my life and I’m blessed to be alive,” she added.

In The Woman in Me, Spears recounted that her father, Jamie Spears, forced her to spend more than three months in a Beverly Hills rehab center in 2018. “My father said that if I didn’t go, then I’d have to go to court, and I’d be embarrassed,” she wrote. She claimed she was prescribed lithium and had limited freedom, including being allowed only an hour of television before a 9 p.m. bedtime.

“They kept me locked up against my will for months,” she said in the book. “I couldn’t go outside. I couldn’t drive a car. I had to give blood weekly. I couldn’t take a bath in private. I couldn’t shut the door to my room.”

Later that same day, Spears shared another Instagram post recalling advice from her late grandfather. “He said promise me one thing… people will talk and talk and the world can be a very cruel place,” she wrote. “He said promise me you won’t care what these ignorant people say and lie about you. You stay fearless… that’s in your blood.”

Her latest reflections arrive just days before the release of her ex-husband Kevin Federline’s memoir, You Thought You Knew, which will be published on Tuesday, Oct. 21. According to excerpts shared by The New York Times, USA Today and E! Online, the book includes claims about Spears’ parenting, past infidelity, and fears that “something bad” could happen to her.

A representative for Spears addressed the memoir and its allegations in a statement released on Tuesday, Oct. 14. “With news from Kevin’s book breaking, once again he and others are profiting off her,” the statement read. “All she cares about are her kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James, and their well-being during this sensationalism. She detailed her journey in her memoir.”