Brother’s Pregnant Sister Says Mother-in-Law Is ‘Rude and Mean.’ Now, He Wants to Plan a Baby Shower for When She’s Not in Town

A 26-year-old man says he’s considering scheduling his 29-year-old sister’s baby shower for a time when her mother-in-law will be out of town, hoping to keep the event calm and stress-free.

In a post on the AITAH subreddit, the original poster (OP) explained that he was asked to plan the baby shower for his sister, who is expecting her first child. He said she has been “very vocal” about feeling mistreated by her mother-in-law throughout the pregnancy.

“She keeps upsetting my sister and even ruined her pregnancy announcement,” he wrote. “Personally, I don’t like her as she has verbally attacked me in the past too for my disability. I can’t imagine how much worse she is to my sister.”

OP added that his sister has expressed that she’d prefer her mother-in-law not attend the shower.

“She wants it to be stress free,” he wrote, saying his sister’s comfort is his top priority. So, when choosing potential dates, he intentionally leaned toward a month when he knew the mother-in-law would be abroad.

“I’ve been told that it’s a dick move to not invite her, since it’s her grandchild too,” he continued. “And I understand that, but since I was given the responsibility to plan it, I am the one who makes the decisions and I want to do what’s in my sister’s best interest.”

OP ended by asking whether he’d be wrong for choosing a date he knew his sister’s mother-in-law couldn’t make.

“I really want this to be amazing for my sister and she is my biggest priority,” he wrote. “But I also don’t want to risk her MIL giving her grief for me not inviting her.”

Commenters largely supported OP’s approach, saying the shower should center the pregnant person’s comfort, not family politics — especially when one guest has a history of creating conflict.

One user argued that the point of the event is to celebrate the mother- and baby-to-be, and said the mother-in-law would likely complain regardless of what OP did.

“YWNBTA. The party is to celebrate the mother and baby to be. This isn’t a dick move at all. Its a date that works for everyone except the one person who would make it a goal be ruin the day,” they wrote. “Will her MIL give her grief over this? Yes. Will her MIL give her grief over something else? Yes. Your sister needs to make sure she has strong boundaries with her partner before this baby arrives because MIL is a piece of work.”

Another commenter said the real problem wasn’t etiquette — it was pattern behavior.

“NTA. You are planning this party for your SISTER’S comfort, not for the MILs feelings. The real issue here isn’t basic etiquette; its that the MIL has a documented history of verbally attacking you and actively stressed out your sister during her pregnancy announcement by causing drama,” they wrote.

“This isn’t a grandmother being excluded,” they added. “This is a known destabilizing force being temporarily removed for a stress-free event. Your sister needs peace, and you’re prioritizing that. That’s just good planning.”